He's growing up!! More on Finn...

So as much as we say, "I'll never be one of those mothers," we all eventually turn into "one of those mothers" and that is what has happened to me.  It isn't as bad as some mothers (cough cough Maggie cough cough) but I am guilty of taking a lot of photos of Finn, speculating on his poop, recounting his every move to Motoaki, etc  So I thought I would do a quick post on my baby and his growth.

He is now 6th months old and will be 7 months on the 25th.  For the most part he has his adult teeth (I think) and though he is not so nippy he sure still likes to chew.  He can demolish a small greenie in about two minutes and can tear jeans.  Though he is guilty of putting everything and anything into his mouth for a taste, he can be easily distracted and be kept busy with a work glove that Motoaki's labrador raising uncle suggested we get.

In just the past two weeks he has gotten over his fear of jumping on and off the white couch and can now also jump onto to our massive Ikea couch.  He can't get down from there yet, though, and is still afraid of our stairs and (for some odd reason) the stairs leading into the laundry room (even though these are shallower than the couch and are similar to the ones in  and out of the house).

Last night was a big win for him as he was allowed to sleep in our bed for the whole night and did so without accident or without trying to eat us.  I think this is due to the fact that it was seriously cold (no central heat in houses in Japan) and our down comforters are seriously warm.  He didn't even wake up early and I had to drag him out of bed at 7.  Note: further evidence he could be related to Lissie.

He can sit, lay down, and give his paw on command though he sometimes has selective hearing.  He also waits for me to say "ok" before approaching his food dish, though he does sometimes whine/growl about this.  If I turned around I am positive he would go over to it without a second's hesitation.  He also has no qualms about me taking his food away at any point which I sometimes do to make sure he doesn't ever get overly possessive.

He still stops what he is doing to occasionally watch TV and did so last night when I turned to CNN to watch coverage about Kim Jong-Il's death.

He has yet to show any signs of sexual activity and after seeing Oscar in action I hope to get him fixed as soon as possible so hopefully we can avoid the matter all together.   His potty training is sometimes weak as he is now interested in marking things but for the most part he does well in making it to his toilet or in waiting until we go outside.

It must be said that he is cuter than we ever hoped and could model if he ever learns how to stay.

OK, sorry about this, but just had to get it out of my system.  I'll try to go another month without posting updates...

These Choir Ladies be Crazy!!!

 In our choir uniforms.  The guy is also a kindergarten teacher at one of the kindergartens I work at.

At the young people's party, where the mischief began.

Now let me start by saying that I hope I don't offend anyone of a certain age with this post.  I realize that just because someone is in their 50's,60's, 70's etc that it doesn't mean they can't have fun.  But these ladies shocked the choir robe right off me on Sunday night.

I have written about choir before and how much I have enjoyed the whole group welcoming into the fold.  I hate to sound conceited, but being that I am white, young, and a newly wed I am somewhat of a star in the group.  I am never left to the side by my lonesome and I have been welcomed into various cliques.  So much so that I was in a bit of a delema last weekend about where and who to party with.

This past weekend we had our annual Beethoven's 9th symphony performance with the Kuse orchestra.  Though it was  my first time they have been doing it for quite some time and it is the highlight of the year.  It is quite impressive as our regular choir is joined by all sorts of talented singers from nearby towns and cities and by an extremely talented group of musicians.  The children's choir joins us, too and we also have a guest conductor who I believe is a university professor (I say believe because a lot of this is explained to me in rapid-fire Old Lady Japanese).

As early as about a month ago I was approached about various "after parties" that would take place after the show.  A woman who I am quite close to as she has a basic level of English and even lived in the US for awhile approached me to say that she would be hosting a "young people's" party at a restaurant bar that would include drinks and presents.  I said yes to her as I knew she would help to understand what was going on and I was sworn to secrecy as she didn't want to upset any "older members" who weren't invited.  I assumed this meant the 85 year old who sits next to me...

The day of the concert came and we did fairly well.  I say fairly because my group of altos was directly behind the horn section and we couldn't really hear the rest of the choir.  We sang our hearts out and before we knew it, it was all over.  About 5 months work finished in an hour.  But still it had been fun and was a nice way to end the year.

After we had all stood in the lobby of the theatre to thank the various family/friends who had come to watch, we had our first party in the entrance of the building.  This was fun as it consisted of everyone and I got a chance to get to know some of my little students a bit better.  By little I meant that I was at a table with a 7 and 8 year old who enjoyed toasting me with Pepsi Next (they enjoyed it because they thought the foam looked like beer- I will have to write sometime about the difference in the drinking culture in Japan).  I also got to meet some of the musicians and a chance to talk to some of the ojichans (grandpas) that were amazing at their solos.  Though Maniwa encompasses a LARGE area it really is a small town and several people approached me to tell me they know Motoaki's parents or my students.

At this party we were also treated to a viewing of our concert that will be on Maniwa TV later and by several trivia games.  I didn't win because it took me awhile to translate the questions, but I had fun cheering people on anyway.  As there were often several people with thew correct answer they settled ties in the traditional Japanese way- by playing Janken, or Rock, Scissors, Paper.

The party came to a close and seeing how it was still only about five o'clock I made my way to the next party with the friend who had invited me.  They were all acting secretive as they wanted to slip away without hurting any feelings of those who hadn't been invited.  I had to lie a bit as several people offered to give me a ride home, but finally we got away.

The party turned out to be in the restaurant that is hooked onto the hotel where my dad, sister, brother, grandma, aunt, and uncle had stayed in.  I regret now that we never tried the restaurant out as it was wonderful.

I giggled at the "young people's party" as the woman next to me turned out to be the grandmother of my Jr high School student.  Many guests got excited that I was there and told me they had wanted to invite me but wasn't sure if it would be ok.  One woman in particular was very excited to see me.  We had sang solos in the October concert and had often chatted at solo rehearsals.  She was especially excited that I could drink beer with her and insisted on ordering several rounds.  I should have known then what lay in store for the rest of the night, but as the other women were just politely sipping cocktails, I didn't think much of it.

Admist the gossip and review of the concert we made time to eat and play games.  One consisted of seeing if I could accurately remember everyone's first name.  There were only about 15 women but seeing as we had a Yuko,a Yoko, a Naomi, and a Naoko, I struggled.  They also told me their nicknames and we all stated what had been the highlight of the concert for us.  I said that for me the best part had just been the chance to perform since I missed getting to sing at university and at church.

Finally when the food had been finished and the conversation had died it was announced that the party would end but that we were going to move on to a karaoke snack.  Snack is the term used to refer to small hostess bars where you can sip overpriced drinks and flirt with women.  I have been to them with guy friends (there aren't many places to "go out" in small town Japan) and even with coworkers from school.  I was surprised to see that this group of women would go to such a place, but I realized that they were in it for the karaoke rather than the women.  It was still only 7pm so I said it would be all right for me to go.

We went to a new place called Chick and I laughed and explained to the group how fitting the name was.  When we got inside I was surprised to see one of the rival groups from choir consisting of slightly older ladies who were mostly sopranos (our group had been heavily alto). I was nervous there would be "tension" or "hurt feelings" since we hadn't invited them to dinner, but it turned out that this had been the plan all along. Since the choir was too big to go to any one restaurant, people had decided to split for food and then to rejoin for fun.

Not to be ageist, but I was really surprised at the other group being out at a snack.  While the group I had eaten with had the one grandma, the rest of the ladies were in their 30s and late 20s.  But this older group couldn't have had anyone under 40 and probably contained a few 70 year olds.  I would liken this to seeing the United Methodist Women's group at Ruby's or the WCV faculty out at a strip club.  All of them drinking and shaking and grooving to the music.

Added to the excitement was the appearance of the conductor and the guest conductor.  I was surprised as they are friendly but seem a bit serious.  I think people were really excited because the guest conductor was the only man to show up.  Apparently the men had a party somewhere else but had returned home early (this coming from the grandma at the first party who was married to one of the male soloists).

You won't believe me, but I was pretty intimidated and shy at first to sing anything as everyone in the room was very talented at singing, but after enough requests for "English" I came out of my shell and started singing.  I was surprised as when I sang songs like Glee's Teenage Dream and Lady Gaga's Born This Way, the women got up and danced.  They didn't really know the songs but seemed excited to participate.  I had greatly underestimated their energy.

Later on I was surprised again as they put on The Wandering Gypsy, a classical song we had sang at a concert in October.  I put on the Sister Act 2 version of Joyful Joyful since it is to the tune of the 9th symphony.  Eventually we were joined one more guy, a young tenor (young as in 30) who I have wanted to befriend but with whom I have never talked to.  He actually joined me in Gaga.

As more songs were sang and more drinks were drank things got fuzzy.  Finally around 1am it was decided that we had better pack up and go home.  We wished each other a Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year and headed out to our various homes.

I had such a great time and it was so different to what I originally thought it was going to be.  Not that I didn't have fun with the ladies at choir practice before this, but it was great to see this side of them.  I worry about staying in Japan long term as more and more of my friends move away and as the new teachers coming in get younger and younger (my intern was born in the 90's!!!).  I sometimes feel that I might sacrifice a social life by staying here.  But, having seen what these ladies are capable of, I am very happy to be here.

Words for Wednesday: The Sisters, The Saga of the Mitford Family

The Sisters, The Saga of the Mitford Family is one of those books that is opening me up to a whole new world of further reading.  I am finding it hard to believe that I have not heard about this family before or that my mother never mentioned them.  I feel really sad that she is not around to read this as I know she would fall in love with it.  Although I suspect that when I search her shelves at home I will find at least something about or by one of the family members.

I normally don't read non-fiction but stumbled upon this book last summer when I was in my "must stock up" phase at Barnes & Nobel.  As nice and novel as the Kindles/Nooks are, I can't help but be sad that in the future I won't be able to spend hours wandering through the bookstore randomly picking up anything that catches my eye.

ANYWAY, the Mitford sisters are/were a group of real life sisters growing up in England in the 10s,20s,30s and who were young women in the 40s.  Though the book is fact it reads like fiction as we find out how involved they were on the world stage.  As the back cover reads, "Jessica was a communist; Nancy was one of the best-selling novelists of her day; beautiful Diana married the fascist leader Sir Oswald Mosley; and Unity, a close friend of Hitler, shot herself in the head when England and Germany declared war."  What  the back cover doesn't say is that Unity practically dated Hitler and that both her sister and mother were his close friends.  It also doesn't say that the girls were distant cousins with Winston Churchill and saw him regularly.  In fact, at one point in the book Jessica receives $500 from him only to turn around and donate it to an American Communist fund.  Also in the story is Jessica's brother-in-law who marries JFK's older sister, Evelyn Waugh (who wrote Brideshead Revisited), Gaston Palewski (a man who was Charles de Gaulle's right hand man), and so on.

As I have been reading along I often find myself thinking, "No way!  This can't all be true."  It's definitely one of those books that has me constantly looking up history on Wiki.  Even if the book wasn't full of "name dropping" it would still be fascinating as the women were all intelligent, talented, and beautiful and full of creativity.  As young children two of the girls created their own language in order to communicate in secret.  One daughter wrote several novels.  All were quite passionate about the politics of the time and as teens it is written that two of the sisters that shared a room divided it down the middle with chalk with one half being decorated with posters of Hitler and Nazi symbols while the other half had pictures of Lenin and Marx.  This all about when they were 12 and 13.  Even if you don't care about history the love lives of the girls is quite shocking and interesting considering the times they lived in.

I don't want to tell you everything but I do encourage you to at least look this family up online.  Absolutely intriguing.  

Before and After: Hair

Lissie (the black dog) and Looe (the yellow dog with a ribbon) Before...

After...

Before...

After...

OK, so maybe those pictures of me are confusing but basically what I am getting at is the dramatic haircut.  Kind of messed up yet again.  It's really short.  Like what Lissie went through last summer...

To back up a bit, I am not very good with getting my haircuts.  Part of the reason is because I didn't really start getting haircuts until I was about 17.  When I was little my hair wouldn't grow at all.  My mother once told me that she would ask the dr.s why I had so little hair and my sister had so much,but they weren't really sure.  So in order to get it to shoulder length I grew it for about 13 years before I got trims.  

Then when I was about 16 I went shoulder length which was a bit of a shock but nothing dramatic.  And then when I went to college and was done with things like dance that required my hair to be tied up, I really chopped it off.  As in like Gwyneth Paltrow in Sliding Doors.  I was worried everyone would hate it but they liked it.  So I continued to get it chopped fairly short every few months.

Then when I came to Japan I was too nervous to get it cut due to a lack of communication between the hair dressers and myself.  I had no clue how to say, Just a bit in the front and to the hairline in the back, in Japanese so I let it go to shoulder length.  And it has been that way for quite a long time.

Last Friday, though, after buying new contacts in the neighborhood I used to live in, I stumbled into a hair salon I used to frequent when I lived in Tsuyama.  The hair dresser (after giving me a shampoo and a message which is complimentary with the cut in most salons in Japan) pulled out a bunch of photos of different girls and asked which one I wanted.  This is always difficult as a) it is hard to picture myself with an Asian person's hair, b) bangs and mullets are really popular in Japan, c) I'm pretty clueless as it is anyway and never no exactly what I want.  I'm also sure that the guy who was going to cut it wouldn't understand, Meg Ryan in French Kiss or You've Got Mail.  

So I pointed to a girl with a curly (no doubt permed) bob that was just about ear-length and said in choppy Japanese, "This will do but feel free to do what you want."  I then took off my glasses (I had bought the contacts but hadn't put them in yet) and settled back to listen to the really good mix of Christmas music going on (including some country hit entitled, All I Want for Christmas is a Real Good Tan).

30 minutes turned into 60 and then into 90.  At one point the guy cutting my hair stopped the cutting and had me put on my glasses to see what I thought.  The hair looked about perfect so I thanked him and started to stand up, but he said, "Wait, wait!  I need to even up some in the back and thin out some around your face."    

I sat back down not wanting to have an uneven line and sat for what I thought would be another 5 minutes tops.  This turned into 15 minutes which turned into another 30 and then another 60.  At this point I could definitely tell that he was cutting it too short and that I was not going to be happy.  

But, despite knowing full well how to say, "That's enough I think," in Japanese, I couldn't bring myself to say anything.  Part of the problem was that he would blow dry the hair and muss it all about, leading me to believe that he was finished only to start cutting again.  He seriously did that about 3 times and I really wanted to laugh out of nervousness but was afraid I would upset him.

When he finally finished I politely said thank you and ran back to my car.  I didn't cry (I am not THAT attached to my hair) but I was feeling quite upset.  It did help that the following night I went out in Osaka for a friends birthday and we went to clubs where all sorts of Japanese people stopped me to say "Kawaii!!!!"  I know, I know, they do that to anyone white with blonde hair, but it did help.  And I found a nice hair band that would have looked ridiculous with my longer hair.  still I dreaded facing the students and don't want to go home and see everyone when my hair is this short...

This isn't the first time this happen and I always ending up getting upset at my cowardice in the salon chair.  I remember one time when my hair wasn't cut short enough and when I confessed that to my mother (who had  right away, "You look like you didn't get anything done") she took me back and had the lady cut more off.  The hair dresser was totally fine and didn't charge me anything extra.  Another time when that happened in Japan I ended up just cutting a bit off myself when I got home.

Last summer when I was at a salon in Des Moines and was just about to pay the bill, Maggie (my sister) came in loudly and stated, "That isn't the color you said you wanted at all."  But with color I really felt that their wasn't much that could be done.

How about you?  Are you able to tell the hair dresser when you are upset or when to stop?  Or do you just go home and wait for it to grow back and the color to fade?

Opinions of a Japanese Jr High School Student Pt 2:Anne Frank

This might have to become a running theme.  Not that I mean to make fun of my students, but seriously this is hilarious.  Over the past couple of weeks we have been studying excerpts from The Diary of Anne Frank.  The excerpts are pretty edited down to make the language as simple as possible, but still it is a hard topic to cover.  Mostly the excerpts are about the Anti-Jewish Laws put in place by the Nazis and then about how this effected the lives of the people.  There is mention of yellow stars, families being taken away in the middle of the night, and parent-less children freezing and starving on the streets.

In keeping with the way that we have been studying the book all year the teacher has asked the students to write their "thoughts" on Anti-Jewish Laws and the suffering caused by them.  There are too many "good lines" to choose from, but here are some highlights.  Keep in mind that a lot of this is due to the students not knowing how to form sentences in English.  They aren't really racist...I think.

1.The Jews were pitiful.
Talked to this student and it turned out that she meant to say that the situation for the Jewish people, not the actual people, was very sad or horrible.

2. I don't permit Anti-Jewish Laws.
Good for you!  If only they would have had you around during the Holocaust.

3. I think wear yellow star is good idea.
Obviously has no clue what is going on in the book.

4. I like soccer.  I don't like Hitora (Hitler).
Good to know.  I like ice cream.  I don't like terrorists.

5. I am sorry that I think.
Ummm... Don't be too hard on yourself.  Thinking isn't a bad thing and can be quite good.

6. Why anti-Jewish laws begin?  Did Jewish do something bad?
No, although at the time it was advertised that they were evil.

7. I like children.
Really?  Me too!.

8. I can't eat old carrots.
Oh, well you are lucky you weren't born during the second world war when, "The children on the streets were so hungry that they even ate old carrots."

9.  I feel sorry that there were many Jewish people.
Umm... Are you a Nazi?

10.  I hope the war ends as soon as possible.
And are you also hoping that Japan wins?  Hate to spoil the surprise, but it's over and the US won.

11.  German is I'm afraid.
You should be.

Again, there were a lot more good ones in the bunch.  To be serious, it makes me a little angry that we even have this in the textbooks in the first place.  Not that I think we shouldn't study the Holocaust, but I don't see the point in teaching such a serious topic to 15 year old ESL students.  Or the point of teaching only a small bit.  As you can see in number 6, the students really don't know any of the history of this so it is really hard for them to understand why this would happen.  They have history at school, but I am pretty sure they are still in the middle of learning Japanese history.

Two months ago we were discussing Martin Luther King Jr and I was asked on the spot to explain race relations in America.  This would be hard for the students to respond to even if we were speaking in their own language, let alone having to work in English.  I really don't know why the books don't just stick to "life at school" "life at home" "life as a home stay student."  Especially when they are only in Jr High.  It is no wonder they don't want to speak in English when the book is filled with phrases like Anti-Jewish Laws, Apartheid, "In 1968 Martin Luther King Jr was killed for working to end discrimination of non-whites."  Surely the kids would open up if we were to say, "Today we are going to read about pop stars around the world.  Who is your favorite pop star?  Do you know any songs in English?"  We do a bit of that, but a lot of the stuff is pretty heavy.

Cultural Differences in Pets

Last weekend we went to the new super mall/outlet mall in Kurashiki with our friend Alexi.  We found amazing deals at Adidas, Banana Republic, and UniQlo.   We passed up the chance for Krispy Kreme, though, when we saw the hour long line.

Being animal lovers the lot of us we decided to check out the pet store.  Motoaki and I were both relieved to see that we in deed got a fabulous     deal on Finn.  The cheapest dog at this place was about 1200 US $.  Although they were all gorgeous puppies.

Anyway, what I quickly wanted to blog about was the fact that they were selling prairie dogs.  As in the little things you see in the badlands!! Who in the world would get a prairie dog?  How would you keep it?  Don't they need to dig???

I was excited to see guinea pigs.  A few years ago when I first came here they were pretty unknown around the town I live in and when I showed students pictures, they thought they were quite scary.  I don't know if we would be ready for another dog anytime soon, but a guinea pig would be a lovely addition to the family...

In one last side note, really must start taking pictures of these things...

Words for Wednesday: Nana manga series

I was never one to be really into Japanese culture.  I am here because originally I needed a job and wanted some adventure and because I eventually felt at home here and fell in love.  If you were to ask me about what non-American cultures I am interested in, I would definitely say a whole list of others like Turkey, Russia, or Hungary before Japan.  Thus, I was never one to be into anime or manga (Japanese comic books).  

However, when I first moved home from Japan in 2008 I found myself missing it and decided to read some Japanese manga as a way to cure my homesickness for it.  I picked up Nana vol 1 because I had seen advertisements for the movie version when I had lived in Japan.  I quickly got sucked in and now have pretty much the whole set which I am currently re-reading.

Manga usually read pretty fast so I am putting the whole series on here rather than just one book.  The story Nana is about two girls named Nana who meet by chance on a train bound for Tokyo.  By chance the girls have the same name are both moving to the city for the first time.  After a long ride, they bid farewell to each other only to meet again by chance while looking for apartments.  They both are taken to apartment 707 (the  word nana means seven in Japanese) and realize that they could save a lot of money if they split the rent.  the story then begins as they become involved in each others lives.

One Nana is really edgy and hopes to become a rock star with her band.  She also happens to be the ex-girlfriend of a guy who has now become famous as part of another rock group.

The other Nana is extremely cutesy and your stereotypical Japanese girl.  She cares about fashion and falls in love at the drop of the hat.  She is obsessed with the band that the edgy Nana's ex plays in, only cutesy Nana doesn't know about the connection.

There are of course several other characters and all sorts of secrets from both girls pasts.  If it were one novel I might be bored with it and put it down, but because it is in these short installments you get hooked on cliffhangers and feel a deep urge to buy the next.  Very similar to a TV show.  I wouldn't recommend it to everyone, but the stories are good if you are interested in Japan and if you want to try out manga.

I also recommend the movies although the first one and the sequel have different actresses playing the role of cutesy Nana.  Very annoying!!  Especially since the first one is exactly like how I pictured her to be.  The actress who plays edgy Nana is spot on, as are a lot of the lead males.

If you are interested, the books can be bought at most Barnes and Nobles and Amazon.com

Merry Christmas Maniwa- the after party

So after the teachers' seminar we had a small party for just the foreign teachers at my house.  I was really excited to have everyone over since last weekend I had gone all out, decorating the living room for Christmas.  I got a five foot tree, lights, and random ornaments and got out Motoaki's and my stockings as well as a new one for Finn.

My friend Janet who is a Canadian originally from Hong Kong brought over a fondue set that we attempted to use.  Unfortunately I am not the smartest person and I didn't know that "real cheese" doesn't really work for fondue.  Or maybe her set isn't very strong.  Anyway, it turned into just a clump of cheese that we cut apart with scissors.  Oh well, we laughed and ate it anyway.  We had 10 people there (including me) made up of Janet (Hong Kong Canadian) Amy (also born in Hong Kong to Vietnamese parents but grew up in Texas) Mike (Michigan) Dan (California) Johnny (London) Ellie (Blackpool) Katie (Oxford) Rena (Thailand) Motoaki  (Japan) so it was quite an assorted group.

We played White Elephant, the game where everyone brings a gift wrapped up so you can't tell what it is.  You then draw numbers to see what order you go in.  The first person unwraps a gift.  The second person can either unwrap a new gift or steal the gift the first person unwrapped, and so on.  We have done it for the past three years but last night was the biggest group we have had so far.  Gifts last night included...
1) Mug and Tea
2) Box of Chocolates
3) Random Snacks
4) 3-D glasses
5) a magic gravity ball
6) a cute set of bunny utensils
7) Santa-shaped pasta and expensive sauce
8) a pillow
9) a carabiner that looked like a Swiss army knife with screwdriver, file, etc
10) various snacks

I stole the gravity ball for Motoaki who liked it and he got the carabiner.

I am happy that we now have a proper space to host and look forward to celebrating Christmas in our homes for years to come.

Merry Christmas Maniwa!!!

Last night we had a teachers' "Step-Up Seminar."  It is a night when Japanese teachers can meet with non-Japanese teachers to practice English.  For the past year these meetings have been planned by the women who is in charge of English for the board of education.  But, after hearing her tell me she has been very stressed this year I offered to plan and present the meeting.  Rather than do what she usually does (a word puzzle game where you match the Japanese card to the English card in groups of two or three) I created a pub quiz featuring questions about Christmas, Japan, and Christmas music.  Though the quiz was a little difficult for the non-English speakers, I think it went well overall.  Here are some sample questions...


Christmas
In the song the 12 days of Christmas, what does he bring 9 of?
What country do Christmas trees come from?
What are the 4 ghosts in Charles Dicken's A Christmas Carol?
How many points does a snowflake have?

Japan
What year did Tokyo Disney open?
What does "nikko nikko" mean in English?
How many times has Japan hosted the Olympics?
What is shiragi-jo?

Christmas Songs (name the title of the song the lyric comes from)
And there won't be snow in Africa this Christmas.

Kiyoshi Kono yoru.

Well way up north where the air gets cold there's a tale about Christmas that you've all been told

Prospero ano y felicidad

For bonus rounds we played a game where they made a sentence using a gird.  Vertically were the words, "I will, I won't, I might, I can't" and horizontally were the words, "eat cake, see santa, go to a shrine, get a present."  They made a sentence and then got the mystery points that were in that grid spot.  Then for the other bonus round we did the game where each team member gets a small whiteboard.  They draw a category/topic such as "a yellow fruit" or "a convenience store."  The team gets points if two people have the same answer and more points if three people have the same answer, etc

"The Grumpy Angels," came in first place followed by "The Blushing Snowmen," in 2nd and "The Cheeky Rerindeer," in third place.   Its nice to be able to teach English and yet have fun at the same time.  Although the trivia was a bit hard, overall everyone had fun and the BOE lady has asked me to plan the next event for Valentine's.  Very excited!  I really should have been a game show host...

Christmas Movies

So to further comment on my last post, I'm going to talk about some of my favorite holiday films.  My list is probably the same as everyone else's, but I thought I would share it just in case you are missing out on some great films.  Maybe it's sad that I associate the holiday so much with these films, but they are just as much of the holidays to me as anything else.  Especially now that I am in Japan and I can't participate in things like caroling and decorating our house in Stuart.  So in no particular order, here are my favorite Christmas Films...


1. Christmas Vacation
Plot: "It's Christmas time and the Griswolds are preparing for a family seasonal celebration, but things never run smoothly for Clark, his wife Ellen and their two kids. Clark's continual bad luck is worsened by his obnoxious family guests, but he manages to keep going knowing that his Christmas bonus is due soon." 


This movie is part of the National Lampoons Vacation series and to some it might be quite cheesy and overly slapstick, but for me it is the closest I have seen to what a real Christmas is caught on film.  Not that we've ever had a squirrel running through the house or had a crazy uncle kidnap my dad's boss, but we have had a lot of crazy mishaps.  Like the time we came home from midnight mass to find the fully decorated tree on the floor, half of our ornaments smashed.


I love this movie because it is purely about family and about accepting family no matter what.  So what if the crazy aunt brings you her cat wrapped in a box or if your cousin's wife ruins the turkey.  You carry on.  Despite the film's name and despite some drama about a Christmas bonus, we don't see any gifts open and the film ends not with everyone getting what they want, but with everyone dancing and singing together, generally enjoying each others company.  I feel this film truly captures the spirit of Christmas in that sense- the spirit that it's not getting what you ask for, but being thankful for what you get.


And despite all of that, there are some seriously funny lines.  Too many to name here, but I will say that my favorite is when Clark tells the children that he "heard" some people at the airport spotted Santa, and a bewildered Cousin Eddie asks, "Are you serious about that Clark?"  Seriously, if you haven't seen this movie, watch it.  And seriously, don't take it seriously- just enjoy.


2. A Christmas Story
Plot: "Ralphie has to convince his parents, teachers, and Santa that a Red Ryder BB gun really is the perfect gift for the 1940's."


Now I know that this move gets overplayed in the states and that most people are probably sick at the very mention of it, but I can't help but love it and watch it whenever I come across it on TV.  Like Christmas Vacation, I find this movie to be very relatable.  Not that I was ever a young boy in the 40s wanting a BBgun, but I was a young girl growing up in middle America, dreaming about the perfect gift and fretting over whether or not I would get it.  I also had a younger sister that trailed me around much likes Ralphie gets trailed by Randy.  And I also got weird gifts from relatives that would rival the bunny suit he gets.  Though this movie does eventually pay off with scenes of presents, the heart of it lies with the family.


Another movie with too many good lines to count, it is tough to pick one but I would have to say that I love the whole bit about putting on a snowsuit.  The mom wraps and wraps her younger son, Randy, up in all sorts of warm weather gear and he starts whimpering.  She "unwraps" him by taking off the scarf he has around his face and asks what's wrong.  He says, "I can't put my arms down."  This is because his snow suit is too packed.  His mother tries to force his arms down but they keep popping back up so that they are straight out.  She finally says, "You can put them down when you get to school," and re wraps him as he cries out.  Later on he falls in the snow and quickly realizes, "I can't get up!" without the use of his arms.  I love this because a) that's exactly how my mother would have treated the situation, b) that's exactly the type of thing that would have happened to my little sister.


3. Home Alone
Plot: "An eight year-old, who is accidentally left behind while his family flies to France for Christmas, has to defend his home against idiotic burglars."


I was the perfect age when this movie came out.  Similar to Kevin, I was 7 years old and often felt like everyone picked on me.  I wasn't the youngest of my siblings and my cousins, though, but instead was stuck right dab in the middle which, to my 7 year old mind, was just as bad or worse.  I was too little to get to do anything great and yet I was older than the babies so I was expected to mind my manners and be responsible.  I always had grand dreams of running away and living alone, and would have been in heaven if my family had "disappeared," leaving me to have run of the house.


I don't think I need to go into too much detail about why this film is a classic.  I will say that as I have gotten older and become more mature about "the spirit of Christmas," I really like how again, this film isn't about presents but rather about family.  The pay off at the end isn't about Kevin getting everything he dreamed of, but rather just his family being home with him.  


Of course, as I have gotten older I have become a little annoyed at how slapstick the whole booby-trapping of the house is, but all in all its a film I can watch over in over.  Highlights for me are definitely the whole "Rocking Around the Christmas Tree" scene where Kevin manages to have a party with some mannequins, some cut-outs, and a train set as well as any scene with the crazy neighbor, Old Man Marley.  Like 
Kevin: I wish my grandparents did that. They always send me clothes. Last year I got a sweater with a big bird knitted on it. 
Old Man: That's nice. 
Kevin: Not for a guy in the second grade. You can get beat up for wearing something like that. Yeah, I had a friend who got nailed because there was a rumor he wore dinosaur pajamas  


Other favorite lines are, "Buzz, your girlfriend- Woof!" and "Look what you did you little jerk!"


4. The Ref
Plot: Denis Leary plays an unfortunate cat burglar, who is abandoned by his partner in the middle of a heist, and is forced to take an irritating Connecticut couple (Kevin Spacey, Judy Davis) hostage. He soon finds that he took more than he bargained for when the couple's blackmailing son and despicable in-laws step into the picture. Before long they're driving him nuts with their petty bickering and family problems. The only way for him to survive is to be their referee and resolve their differences, before he can be nabbed by the police.


Now this might be a movie that you haven't seen.  It was recommended to me by my Auntie Anne in Texas who has a wonderful eye for movies.  It stars Dennis Leary and Kevin Spacey and is similar to "Life is Beautiful," only happier and at Christmas.  As the plot summary says, Dennis Leary is a cat burglar fleeing the scene of a botched job.  He hijacks a couple on their way home from couples counseling and while at first they are put off guard by him, they soon put fear aside for the sake of their own arguing.  Add to this a bunch of crazy relatives and a lot of lovable but stupid town folk and you get a great comedy.  After awhile you get so caught up in the dialogue that you kind of forget what is going on in the first place.  And, to stick with my theme, the movie ends with everyone learning that family is what matters.  Although, in this movie, that doesn't include everyone in your family.  I think I relate to this movie in that since, in the past, some of my relatives have had some HUGE fights right in the middle of our holiday cheer.


Favorite scenes are 
*when a teenage girl, in talking about the then-unknown-to-her burglar says, "Maybe the police will catch him and then let him go in the spirit of Christmas."  To which her mother replies, "That's not the spirit of Christmas- either you are good and get rewarded or else you are punished and go to hell."
*Dennis Leary's character confronts the Grandma and says, "What is the matter with you? I thought Mothers were sweet and nice a-a-and Patient. I know loan sharks who are more forgiving than you. Your husband ain't dead, lady. He's hiding."


5. Love Actually
Plot: Follows the lives of eight very different couples in dealing with their love lives in various loosely and interrelated tales all set during a frantic month before Christmas in London, England.


I was the right age when this movie came out, too.  I think if I had seen it when I was in elementary or high school it would have been ok, and if I were to see it for the first time today I would have found it good but not memorable.  But I saw this movie when I was in my second year of college (Uni) and when I was really trying to decide whether or not to date one of my first real boyfriends.  Though there isn't a particular character I especially related to, I thought all of the stories were very real and original.  I especially liked the whole bit about the Brit in Wisconsin.  Being from the midwest, I know what would happen if someone showed up with a British accent.  Girls would soon and an average guy would find himself an above average girl.


I also loved the us of music in this movie.  Its mixture of Christmas and love songs was well done.  And all of the colors, costumes, locations were beautifully put together.  I'm not really sure if I like the ending with everyone just happening to be at the airport at the same time, but I will forgive it that.


Again every character has a favorite moment for me, but at the top of the list has to be the interaction between Colin Firth's character and his love interest's family.


CF I am here to ask your daughter for her hands in marriage. 
Father You want to marry my daughter? 
CF Yes. 
Father [yelling toward the back of the house] Come here, there is a man at the door. He wants to marry you. 
[a large and confused woman emerges] 
Sister But I've never seen him before. 
Father Who cares? 
Sister You're going to sell me to a complete stranger? 
Father Sell? Who said 'sell?' I'll pay him. 
CF Pardon me. I'm meaning your other daughter - Aurelia. 


6. Elf
Plot: After inadvertently wreaking havoc on the elf community due to his ungainly size, a man raised as an elf at the North Pole is sent to the U.S. in search of his true identity.


So this movie probably has the weakest plot of all of the films on my list.  I don't really pull much of a message from it and I don't really relate to it.  But good lord is it funny.  I can't imagine anyone else being able to do what Will Ferrell does in this film by being so ridiculous without being annoying or obnoxious.  And I love Zoey Deschanel and thank this movie for getting me into her singing.  Her voice on "Baby It's Cold Outside" is one of my favorite holiday songs.


Favorite lines/scenes include how much Will Ferrell freaks when he hears Santa is coming, "Santa?  I know him!" and the whole confrontation with the fake santa, "You smell like beef and cheese.  You sit on a throne of lies."


Films that aren't Christmas movies but that I associate with Christmas...
Little Women (Winona Ryder version) You've Got Mail
So this post is too long as it is but I love these two movies and always watch them at Christmas despite them not being Christmas movies.  They both include great scenes and music that center around the holidays.  I will always be singing, "For the Beauty of the Earth," despite it not being a Christmas song thanks to Little Women and will always dream of Christmas in New York thanks to You've Got Mail.




SO THAT'S MY LIST!  If you read all that, you must have a lot of time on your hands!  If you really do have time, please comment below with your favorite Christmas films or your favorite line from one of the films I wrote about above.


And though I've already put it on Facebook, here is a shot of my little baby watching his favorite Christmas film.  Don't know why, but Finn totally stopped in his puppy tracks to watch Elf.  I think it is because Will Ferrell screams so much in it.

Good-bye Thanksgiving, Bring on Christmas

So now that thanksgiving has officially passed (without any celebration over on my side of the world- I actually had leftovers Thanksgiving night because Motoaki refused to eat his half of the pineapple/bell pepper/soy/lemon/chicken I made the night before- he took one look at pineapple in the crock pot and promptly started cooking his own dinner- silly Japanese...) we can now officially kick off the Christmas season, and I couldn't be happier.  Though we don't have snow and you don't really see too many lights up, there are decorations in the stores and Christmas music on some of the commercials.  I know a lot of people think that Christmas these days is over commercialized but I sure miss it being here in Japan.  I miss having the long Thanksgiving weekend to start shopping and to pick out a tree.  I miss having Christmas concerts to look forward and TBS playing holiday movie after holiday movie.

Luckily for me, my December calender is already booked right up to the point I fly home.  This first weekend we have a young teachers party where we will be cooking traditional Christmas dishes like fondue and apple pie (at least its not fish...) and then playing volleyball.  After that we have our monthly BBQ with all of the foreigners in the area.

Then the next weekend I have a birthday party for a friend on Friday and then a weekend of shopping with Motoaki.  The nearby mall (Kurashiki) recently underwent a huge makeover as well as opened a nearby outlet mall.  Yes, yes Christmas is about Jesus but it is also about seeing an over the top glitzy Christmas tree, a Japanese man dressed as Santa (or if we are lucky, some English teacher dressed as Santa), Starbucks Christmas drinks, and fighting crowds to find the best gift for people back at home.

The following weekend I will be in Osaka for yet another birthday and more shopping, and then I have a choir concert on my last weekend before going home.  We are singing Beethoven's 9th which isn't very Christmasy but we will encore with some Italian song and Silent Night- in Japanese!  I'll take it.  And it will be fun to sing with a big group, not to mention a group with some amazing talent.  It's a community choir that anyone can join but last week when they announced who would do the solos (I have been too busy with guests to have even been around for tryouts), I found out that one of my favorite oji-chans (little old Japanese man) has some serious power.  Seriously was straining my neck to see who was singing so beautifully and was shocked to see it was him.

Of course there is a lot of work involved in all of this play.  I still have lessons and since they are Christmas lessons I have more prep than usual (cutting out ornament shapes for the little kids to color, making a tree out of paper, etc).  I also need to write my Christmas cards as well as help Motoaki  design a New Year's card.  Even so, it never feels like real work.

Anyway, let the season begin and good luck to you in your own countdown to Christmas.

Words for Wednesday: A Happy Marriage

The title of this book will probably fool a lot of readers.  Though the title fits in a way, it isn't exactly a cheerful romance.  This is another book that I picked up without really knowing what it was (dang you Barnes & Noble and your $4 books- although, thank you for getting me to buy and read great stuff that I normally would have passed over).  So I was a little surprised to actually start it and realize that this is the story of a marriage ending.  Not in divorce but in death.  The book jumps from the present to the past by having every other chapter tell about how the New York city couple met, and by having the other chapters tell how they say their good-byes as the wife dies of bladder/urinary tract cancer.  

I know, I know- you are all dying to read it now.  But really, the book has a charm despite its heavy material and I have yet to tear up.  Although I imagine tears will come.  Both the wife and the husband are rich characters and one can't help admire the realness of their love.  The story isn't the type of romance you dream about but rather the type of romance you live or that marriages you respect are made of.  They don't have all the answers and things aren't always pretty, but they do have love.

It does help that the chapters jump back and forth.  You know its a good read when, despite knowing that they end up together, I find myself fretting over whether or not they will ever get together in the chapters describing their first encounters.  He is such a nerd as a young man and she is so sophisticated that you can't help but think he is out of his league.  And the same goes for her struggle with cancer.  Though the hospice has been arranged and the funeral is being planned, there is a small part of me that thinks it isn't over yet.  I guess I'm trying to say that I am surprised to find so much hope in such a cut and dry case of a novel.

On a side, morbid note, this book definitely also plays out like a manual for how to deal with a loved one dying.  I guess it is loosely based on the author loosing his own wife, and I hope he was able to do for her in real life what he does for the characters here.  I hope I will remember this book when it comes time for me to deal with a loved one passing.

Opinions of a Japanese Jr High Student

This past week or so in the 3rd grade at Jr High (14-15 year olds) we have been practicing debate.  The kids read the example in the text and were then asked to write their own composition about a topic.  The book's example was...


I think beds are more convenient than futon.

I agree because it is easier to make a bed.
I disagree futon don't need so much space.
There were example topics for them to choose from, but they were also allowed to pick something different.  We mostly got summer vs. winter (mostly dealing with cold vs hot, winter sports vs summer sports, winter food vs summer food) and school lunch vs sack lunch (mostly dealing with the difficulty if making your own lunch or having to eat foods you don't like in school lunch- this was a little interesting as kids are not allowed to bring their own lunch).

But some of the kids really surprised me with their opinions.  This is because usually, as with most homework assignments, the children tend to write what they think you want to hear (aka I love school lunch!  I love English class!  Doing homework is important! Uniforms are comfortable and fashionable! Drugs are bad!) or they just copy from a book.  But in this assignment we got some great original thoughts and answers.  So I thought I would share some of the highlights.

First off in reference to school uniforms, one girl wrote,

I think pants are better than skirts.  Pants are warmer and are more comfortable.

That seems pretty reasonable to the average American, but in Japan where girl student uniforms are considered "cute and sexy," I was impressed.  For those that say that the Japanese don't see the uniforms as sexy, go to a costume shop or watch an AKB48 video.

Another girl wrote,

I think plain clothes are better than school uniforms.  With a uniform we can't express our own personality.

Again, might seem obvious to those who grew up wearing what they want to school, but in Japan where "the nail that sticks out will get hammered down," this is an original thought.  For those that say, "It's not what you wear, but what's on the inside that counts," I agree to the point.  But why should girls have to wear skirts and boys wear pants?

In reference to city life vs country life, one boy wrote,

I think living in the country is better than living in the city.  The country has clean air and better fishing.Being from Iowa, I know that all too well.  What was surprising was that a) the 15 year old doesn't have big city dreams and b) he will take fishing over the pro sports, arcades and game stores that the city offers.

One boy wrote that,

I think a PC is better than a cell phone.  You can carry a mini-PC.  A PC has more data.I was surprised as most people in Japan use their cell phone for everything.  When I came to Japan in 2005 my phone could already access gmail, Facebook, etc Things my US cell dreamed of doing.  If you ask someone for their email, they will give you their phone email, not a PC one.  I had to ask, on the kid's paper, "What do you think of smart phones?"

One boy who is a bit of a suck-up (sorry to say...) wrote an original topic by saying,

Some people think now is better than the past.  In that case, we now have TV, cell phones, refrigerators, and so on.  But there are bad things now.  To watch TV is fun.  But we watch TV for a long time.  This is sight fail.  To play video games is fun, but this must take a long time.  Your mother must be angry.  And there is a bad thing.  This is "phone fraud."  So to be frank, the past is better than now.

He makes mistakes but he has some good points.  It was actually a bit longer with a lot more phrases he picked up from the dictionary, but overall he put a lot of thought into it.  I rewarded his work by two paragraphs of counter arguing by saying that cell phones save lives in emergencies and that in the present we have better medicine and communication.  I used big words that are in reality too challenging, but that will give him something to do.

But the winner had to be two boys in 3-D (3rd year D home room) who had this to say about their friend Morishita (his last name)...

I think a kangaroo is better than Morishita.  Because a kangaroo is stronger.

I think a cockroach is better than Morishita.  Because a cockroach is more convenient than Morishita.Yes, yes, fine arguments both of them.

Gemma!

I spent the past two weeks or so with my friend Gemma who was visiting from Scotland/England (she lives part time in both places so not really sure what to put....).  She had lived in Tsuyama at the same time I was living there and is one of the people I have managed to stay in touch with.  So much so that she came to my wedding in Iowa and I went to her house last Christmas.  She is a good friend but not someone I normally would have thought I would get along with.  For starters, she is really sporty and is extremely knowledgeable about the outdoors.  Also, we are both nerds who like to read, but she is really into fantasy, sci-fi, and mystery while I stick to anything but.  She also listens to heavy metal and rock while I prefer pop and folk.  In other words, if we had met in high school or uni we wouldn't have hung out.  But because we were stuck in the middle of nowhere and were two out of about 4 foreign women, we became friends and have stayed in touch.

So back to now.  Gemma came over and though I had work I managed to spend a lot of quality time with her. I took her to Nagoya where she had never been and showed her Meji-Mura ( an outdoor museum that features reconstructed building from the Japanese Meji period) as well as the night- life there.  We were able to meet up with our friend Justin (who also used to live in Tsuyama but not at exactly the same time) and had a night out at Outback Steakhouse (poor Gemma, travels to Japan only to eat hamburgers but I couldn't resist the temptation of real western food) and karaoke.  Actually, that was the thing that Gemma and I probably bonded over most despite our lack of mutual interest in artists.  We discovered that we both love Mumford and Sons and Everything by Pitbull (ok,so maybe she doesn't love that song but she did join me).

We also had a night out with former Tsuyama residents Adam and Vany plus Adam's girlfriend Wakako.  I especially enjoyed this night as we went to a Brazillian bar which I hadn't done before.  It is actually a little known fact outside of Japan that there are a ton of Brazillians living in Japan.  It isn't until you get here that you can see what a big presence they have, especially in cities like Nagoya.  Anyway, the Brazillian bar turned out to be more like a small family restaurant with a man playing live tunes on his guitar and people practicing the samba.  Though it may have been because we were with Wakako who is a regular at the bar, we were welcomed into the fold as soon as we entered and even danced with the owner.

Besides going to Nagoya we also made a small day trip to Yamauchi prefecture with Motoaki and our other friend, Crystal.  Gemma had asked to "see nature," so we went to the biggest cave in Japan.  I had been there before on one of my first dates with Motoaki, but it has been awhile and was a nice way to excersize while being indoors.  We also went to some hills that looked a lot like Ireland or Scotland (again, sorry Gemma) and some rocks that were split as the result of an Earthquake.  I should have taken pictures but have gotten out of practice due to everyone always taking pictures and putting them on Facebook.

And of course most importantly was the time Gemma got to spend with Finn.  Gemma can be very strict with dogs and can be a harsh critic of their training.  I was worried she wold find him spoiled and naughty, but she said that for a puppy he was "fair."  We'll take it.

In all honestly it was good to see an old friend and to know that just because people move away it doesn't mean that they are lost forever.  I have met some of the most amazing people in Japan due to the fact that they are from all over and that we are forced to interact and become family.  A lot of people only stay a year, though, and it can be hard to constantly say good-bye.  It's nice when they sometimes come back.

Words for Wednesday: Cold Sassy Tree

So this is a book I picked up on super sale in Washington DC last summer.  It is actually a pretty smooth read and offers interesting insights into southern small town living in the early 1900's.  The story focuses on a boy whose world is changed when his grandmother passes away and his grandfather remarries about two weeks after the funeral.  What is great about this book is that the story doesn't just stop there.  It also features numerous incidents such as a train accident and the first car that comes to town.  I am a big fan of historical fiction and this book might become a favorite.  I extremely like how it shows without telling what everyday life was like in those days.  It makes me wish that I had talked to my great grandparents more and also makes me want to speak to my Grandmother and great aunts and uncles about how their lives have changed over the decades.  I also find it interesting that the main drama in the book (the grandpa marrying so soon after the grandma's death) is one that we could find still today while other dramas (like the aunt wanting to become an actress) aren't a big deal anymore.  I wonder why our views have changed on some things and haven't on others.

My First Funeral in Japan: Part Two

So the day of the funeral I was actually too busy to be really upset in the morning.  This was because it was Halloween weekend and my friend was coming to visit from up north.  She had taken a night bus down and I had to pick her up at 6am in a town about 40 minutes from me.  Then, after getting back to my house and showing her the spare room, the bathroom, etc I was too awake to go back to sleep.  So I watched TV (WE GOT CABLE!!!) with Finn and just let my mind wander while she napped.  I then got ready to go and left her to the computer and the dog.

The funeral was in a town about 30 minutes from mine and the other teacher had told me that it was at a place called Cosmos Hall.  Because Cosmos is one of the words put in simple Japanese and also because it is a small town that I have been to countless times, I didn't look it up on the map and just asked the girl at the super market counter (I had to run in and buy black hose as all of mine are nude- the Japanese tend to be over dressed so thought I better not risk it) where it was.  It turned out to be in the opposite direction as to where I thought so I thanked her and left.

My Japanese is ok but since directions are hard in any language, I pulled off again and asked a guy directing parking at a farmers market where I needed to be.  He told me it was just up the hill so I thanked him and headed off.  I arrived at what turned out to be Cosmos Hill, aka a field full of flowers, and realized that this was where the supermarket girl had been thinking I was going to.  This amused me as I was in all black, it was raining, it was like 9am, and I was all alone.  I went back down the hill and showed the parking guy my money envelope.  He realized right away the mistake and began apologizing before getting me turned around.  By this time i was running on time as opposed to the early that I had wanted to be.  To add to this was the fact that every other block there was a sign for Cosmos something or other (I had forgotten that this town is famous for these flowers and that practically everything was named for them) and i kept getting off the main road only to find more flowers.  Finally I spotted a taxi carrying some students from my school (side note- what parent would send a student by themselves in a taxi to a funeral?!?) and followed that to the Cosmos Hall.  I had worried that I would be the last one there, but there were more cars in front of the taxi and more behind me all going to the same place.  There were too many people to find the teacher I had seen at the speech contest the day before but it was easy to spot my staff so I headed towards them.

The actual building was quite confusing.  It was actually two buildings connected by an overhead roof that you see at banks, drive throughs, etc.  In front of the first building was a table where people were signing and giving their money.  This was being run thankfully by more of my coworkers so they were able to tell me what to put where.  Still, I made a fool of myself by not knowing my address (I know the gist of it but couldn't remember what was what for the house number and the zip-code).  I had written it on a card in my purse but had not brought my purse as I didn't think I would need it.  Oh well, I guessed and I don't think it will matter.  Even if I am entitled to a thank you note/gift, it is unnecessary.  

After doing this I went opposite of the first building to stand with my staff under the overhead.  From where I stood I could see into the doors of both buildings and could make out that one seemed to be filled with people and flowers for the actual ceremony and that the other was more of a lounge for what I assume was used for family.  More and more people kept coming and, after giving their money, lining up outside the two buildings.  I saw a ton of former coworkers (in Japan teachers are transferred around so every year we lose about five teachers) but couldn't talk to them because of the somberness of the event.

After about an hour of this some chanting came on over a loud speaker but people still kept arriving and talking.  There didn't seem to be a start time.  I kept waiting to be told, "oh now we will go and sit," or, "the ceremony has begun" but honestly nothing changed. I seriously had no clue what was going on.  I thought that maybe the chanting was a prelude like music at church, but it was seriously going on for an hour.  Then all of the people outside (about 100 or so) made a long line to go into the building that had all of the flowers and what not.  I made out that we were going to be proceeding in to see the casket, and I got nervous because I wasn't sure what I was supposed to do once I got in there.  Luckily I was behind a younger English teacher so I knew I could ask her if faced with something really confusing.

Inside the room it was very dark and very smoky.  The actual room was set up like a western service with people on chairs, and I realized that we had been outside because the space wasn't big enough.  I was wandering why we didn't have it at the school, but maybe his family didn't expect so many students/staff.  We walked slowly down the aisle as each person took a moment in front of the casket before moving on to one of two small altars that had bits of incense burning in them.  I had read a story in my Japanese text book about an American who ate some sand stuff at a funeral because he thought other people were eating it when in fact they were just touching it  to their lips and eyes.  When it came my turn to stand in front of the incense I did nothing as I didn't want to do it wrong and offend anyone.  Also, I am of the belief that just like non-Catholics don't take communion at a Catholic service, as a non-Buddhist I shouldn't really take full part in things like this out of respect. 

The hardest part was that, after going up to the casket and standing by the incense, I had to go over to the immediate family and bow.  Of course they were pretty upset and I felt bad that they had to receive anyone at that time. I am thankful that in a western funeral we just put the family to the front and let them be.

After I went back outside everyone again lined up in front of the buildings as we listened to more chanting.  At one point the daughter spoke and then at another some uncle or other.  It was hard to hear and I couldn't understand most of it.  Then the casket was brought out and put in a hearse.  I am not sure, but i think that since people are cremated in Japan the family goes on to the place where that is performed similar to the family going to the cemetery in the west.  Then people just started to walk back to their cars and head home.

It was soooooo strange to not have any music or a speech by a priest/minister.  With cultural differences at other ceremonies (weddings, graduations,etc) I have often thought, 'Oh, that's weird/different,' but never before have I ever thought "I'm so glad I was raised in the west."  After that funeral, I was definitely thankful to the fact that, though my mother's service was pretty hard to get through, that there had been music, comforting words from a spiritual leader, and even some laughter.  I remember Motoaki saying that her funeral had felt bright to him and that he was surprised by how, when we were at the wake, people were a mixture of crying and chatting.  I think part of it is that in the west we have a bit more time before the funeral.  This man passed on Friday and was put to rest on Sunday, but my mom passed on Monday morning and was put to rest on Friday.

I know it is a cultural difference, and I respect that, but dear Lord if I die in Japan give me a western service.  With Motoaki I might just have to have two...

Sorry if this was a heavy post, but just really wanted to write about it.  I also rambled a bit.