Nerd alert! In weighing the options between a life in Japan and a life in the States, one thing that I was really upset to give up was being in choirs in the US. As a small child I sang at school and at church, and in Jr. High I joined the adult choir at church and got solos in school concerts. By high school I was considered one of the better singers in our small school and though I never recieved high honors outside of school, I felt confident and at home singing.
In college joining the Liturgical Choir was a key point in making friends and fitting in on campus. After all, Bud and Bram were choir friends (I technically met Bud through Lisa but we bonded at a choir party). And going to Ireland to sing was amazing.
In Japan I have karaoke which is a whole other love altogether, but I still missed singing in choir. I guess what I really missed was harmony. Again, nerd alert. Peopl think I am all over the mic at karaoke because I want attention, but they don't realize that I went from singing almost everyday with a group to being cut off cold turkey.
Then last year, while I was meeting with my "old lady English conversation class" at Espace (a community center that contains a concert hall, a library, a cafe, and office rooms) I ran into a bunch of students who said they were there for a choir practice. Then at the end of my lesson I noticed the kids walking out and adults with folders walking in. Here was a choir! But how to join?
Luckily, fate was on my side. A teacher in the area asked me to dinner at her house. I had taught her daughter for three years in Tsuyama and the family was happy to reconnect with me. Anyway, the teacher asked to meet me at Espace. This made sense since it is next to my house and it has a large parking area. When I met her there she was coming out of the building and I saw a lot of people milling about. I asked her if she had been to see a show but she told me that she was in the show- that she was a member of the adult choir. Finally, I had my in. All that night I asked her with questions about how or if I could join. I assumed that there would some sort of audition process, but she told me that it was a lot more casual than that and that I could just show up.
So last year in January I did and I was welcomed, to my surprise, without a lot of fuss. A lot of times people can go overboard with how non-Japanese I am, but this group just had me stand up, say my name, and get to work. Of course everything was all in Japanese but thankfully I had experience singing foreign songs in all of my old choirs. Also, the notes were not F A C E or E G B D F like we learn in America, but rather Do Re Mi Fa So La Ti Do. But because I am an alto and just harmonize, I was able to just "hear my part." I of course also can read music and so have a vague idea of where to go.
The group is mostly made up of people in their 30s, 40s, 50s, and 60s, and like church choirs at home, there are a lot of degrees of talent. They were actually surprised at how quickly I picked out harmonies, but I explained to them that I had a lot of practice. Japanese school children sing but in our area there aren't choirs at school. Brass band is much more popular and because you can only pick one club activity to belong to, most people choose sports. I am so lucky to have gone to WCV and have been able to be in choir, band, dance, golf, etc
We had a concert last March but unfortunately it was when I was at home for my mom's funeral. I had looked forward to getting to perform and to being able to hear the children's choir. I had actually written this in an email to my mom last February,
"On Monday they had me try on one of the concert gowns and they have to make a new one for me. At first I misunderstood and I thought they said that I would have to sew one myself. But they were just asking if I could pay (it is like $30). No problem. Funny when they were measuring the height one lady kept saying I was so tall. And then, after they had measured from my neck to the floor on my back, the one lady said in Japanese (people forget that I understand because I can't say as much) "Better measure the height on the front side- her chest is big and that will take up fabric." But they are really very nice to me and keep saying that I am soooo good. But that is because one song we are singing is from sister act (already know the song just had to learn the Japanese words) and the others are all pretty simple harmony. It is very much like church choir. I have to sit next to the Caroline Harvey of the group (Teacher, I think it would be a lot better if the altos sang an uuuuuu instead of an aaaaa. Teacher, I think it would be better if we changed that note to a D.) but she seems to like me. And another alto used to live in Pittsburgh (her husband works for a car company) so she is excited to talk about America."
After coming back to Japan work was busy and I was a little unorganized, so I actually didn't go back to choir until this past Monday (June 6). I was really nervous about having been gone so long, but again nothing big was made about it and I was accepted back in naturally. I mean, people asked how I was and what not, but no one made a fuss that I had been gone. And, I was extremely relieved to see that the music they had been working on was a slow song and the Japanese version of "The Wandering Gypsy," or Zigeunerleben (Gypsy Life) by Robert Schumann , a song I sang in high school. That was funny because we spent a long time just working on words and doing a back section, but when we finally sang the whole thing through from the beginning, I realized right away that I knew the song- it is one of the ones I sing when cleaning or walking. Again, they were amazed at how fast I had learned it and I had to confess that I knew it.
I was also excited to notice that one of the kindergarten teachers I started working with last April is in the choir. It is little things like that help me settle into the community. The choir is great for the singing, but it is also a big step in becoming someone who truly belongs here.
Here is Zigeunerleben (Gypsy Life) by Robert Schumann
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vU6Xrrugt9Y&feature=related
Monday, June 13, 2011
Thursday, June 9, 2011
Words for Wednesday: The Lacuna
I am still reading Freedom so I will talk about a book I finished in the past and that I recommend.
I had always heard about this great book called The Poisonwood Bible by Barbara Kingsolver and about a two years ago while on a trip home I saw it on sale at Barnes & Noble and bought it. The book turned out to be absolutely fantastic and I got it for a bunch of people as a Christmas present. It is the story of a missionary family in the Congo and what happens when the country falls apart and they are caught in the middle. I might write about that another time, but right now I feel like enough has been written about it. I think it was even made into a made for TV movie, but it needs to be a real movie.
This year while I was in London drooling in a bookstore, I stumbled upon a new book by Barbara Kingsolver, The Lacuna. I hadn't heard anything about it but decided to buy it as it was BIG (when you only have so much money and can only buy so many books, it all comes down to what would give me the most bang for my buck). And it turned out to be worth it.
The Lacuna is the fictional account of a cook working in the kitchen of Diego Rivera and Frida Kahlo. The boy was born in America but moved to Mexico as a child with his mother who is escaping his father. Thus, he conveniently speaks English and Spanish. If you know the stories of Rivera and Kahlo (or if you have seen Frida) then you also know that he also comes into contact with Trotsky.
Other reviewers of the book were disappointed in it, saying that the main character wasn't exciting and that the book dragged on. I feel that the character was relatable and, in his interaction with greatness, made the greatness relatable. If I had only read about Frida, Rivera and Trotsky I would have imagined what they were like. But I would never have imagined myself as being able to interact with them. But, in seeing this ordinary person interacting with them I could imagine what it would be like to have been there. I think in that sense the book was interesting and worth the read.
For me, the only downside to the book was the length. I bought it for the length and yet I felt that there were a few parts where it could have ended naturally, but that it kept going. The same thing happened in her other book, The Posionwood Bible. Though that book is a must read, I felt that it could have ended slightly earlier than it did. Still, that
However, the woman can write and both books caught my interest and kept my interest. Both books presented me with worlds that I hadn't read about before or that I normally might not read about.
The Paris Syndrome in Japan
At work while filling the minutes between the last class and my finish time, I stumbled upon an article titled, 'Paris Syndrome' strikes Japanese. Thinking this was about Paris Hilton (who, in another interesting story last year or the year before was denied entry into Japan due to previous drug use- stick to your guns, Japan!), I went over to see if she had come for a new movie or purse line and was confused and then amused to learn that the article was about Japanese people who suffer mental break downs after experience rudeness in Paris. You can read the article here , http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/
At first it reads like a joke but then, when you think about it and when you think about the Japanese people you have met, it makes sense. The Japanese do have a habit of believing things they see on TV or stereotypes. Just ask them about visiting America and they will all reply with how dangerous the states is and how, if you do visit, you will have to be careful not to get shot. Today while we were teaching about airplanes in the school, one of the students said he didn't want to go on an airplane to a foreign country because it would be hijacked. This was a 15 year old. It is believable that they really might be taken off guard to find out that Paris isn't all tres chic and rosy.
Not that Paris doesn't have rude people. It seems to be a stereotype in America that the french are not nice and that, while the scenery is good, Paris can be an unfriendly town. I know from personal experience, having had my purse stolen while I was there visiting a friend in college. But, as traumatic as that experience was, it didn't cause me to have a breakdown or even to be all that mad. I mean, I was mad, but I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the art, the cafes, and the overall quaintness that is Paris. In fact, since that time I lost my purse I have been back about three times.
But what really got to me after reading and re-reading this article was the fact that, in real life, the Japanese aren't always so polite. All you have to do is to read any of the numerous blogs on the internet about ex-pats in Japan to realize the idea of a polite, perfect society is a myth. AS A WHOLE the Japanese are fairly polite, but there are still a lot who can be quite shocking. I would think it would be the English teachers who work with the youth in Japan who might be the ones to have break downs. After all, students have been known to tell a teacher to, "Shut up! Go away! Die!" Students have been known to dismantle a teacher's bike and throw it in a river. Students have been known to call a teacher the N word repeatedly in class and then get away with it because, "They don't know better." You wouldn't believe the culture shock facing teachers who come here with the belief and the false assumption that Japanese students are model students filled with "Yes Sensei, No Sensei, Please Sensei."
In the article about Paris Syndrome, it was said that in France, "The Japanese embassy has a 24-hour hotline for those suffering from severe culture shock, and can help find hospital treatment for anyone in need." I think the American, British, Canadian, Austrailian, Jamaican, and New Zealand embassies in Japan should do a similar thing.
Now let me back up and say that not all of the kids are bad and that a large part of the problem is that there is no such thing as holding a kid back, sending a kid out of the room, detention, expulsion, etc in Japanese schools. I don't hate the kids, just the system. Also, I won't say that America and other countries have it perfect either. We have rude students and adults, too. BUT I find it hard to feel sorry for "the poor, offended Japanese who had their feelings hurt by the French" when I go to work and see their children tell their teacher "We're going to poke you in the crotch (only they use the impolite version)!" and they stick out their rulers while she walks by their desks returning homework.
At first it reads like a joke but then, when you think about it and when you think about the Japanese people you have met, it makes sense. The Japanese do have a habit of believing things they see on TV or stereotypes. Just ask them about visiting America and they will all reply with how dangerous the states is and how, if you do visit, you will have to be careful not to get shot. Today while we were teaching about airplanes in the school, one of the students said he didn't want to go on an airplane to a foreign country because it would be hijacked. This was a 15 year old. It is believable that they really might be taken off guard to find out that Paris isn't all tres chic and rosy.
Not that Paris doesn't have rude people. It seems to be a stereotype in America that the french are not nice and that, while the scenery is good, Paris can be an unfriendly town. I know from personal experience, having had my purse stolen while I was there visiting a friend in college. But, as traumatic as that experience was, it didn't cause me to have a breakdown or even to be all that mad. I mean, I was mad, but I didn't let it stop me from enjoying the art, the cafes, and the overall quaintness that is Paris. In fact, since that time I lost my purse I have been back about three times.
But what really got to me after reading and re-reading this article was the fact that, in real life, the Japanese aren't always so polite. All you have to do is to read any of the numerous blogs on the internet about ex-pats in Japan to realize the idea of a polite, perfect society is a myth. AS A WHOLE the Japanese are fairly polite, but there are still a lot who can be quite shocking. I would think it would be the English teachers who work with the youth in Japan who might be the ones to have break downs. After all, students have been known to tell a teacher to, "Shut up! Go away! Die!" Students have been known to dismantle a teacher's bike and throw it in a river. Students have been known to call a teacher the N word repeatedly in class and then get away with it because, "They don't know better." You wouldn't believe the culture shock facing teachers who come here with the belief and the false assumption that Japanese students are model students filled with "Yes Sensei, No Sensei, Please Sensei."
In the article about Paris Syndrome, it was said that in France, "The Japanese embassy has a 24-hour hotline for those suffering from severe culture shock, and can help find hospital treatment for anyone in need." I think the American, British, Canadian, Austrailian, Jamaican, and New Zealand embassies in Japan should do a similar thing.
Now let me back up and say that not all of the kids are bad and that a large part of the problem is that there is no such thing as holding a kid back, sending a kid out of the room, detention, expulsion, etc in Japanese schools. I don't hate the kids, just the system. Also, I won't say that America and other countries have it perfect either. We have rude students and adults, too. BUT I find it hard to feel sorry for "the poor, offended Japanese who had their feelings hurt by the French" when I go to work and see their children tell their teacher "We're going to poke you in the crotch (only they use the impolite version)!" and they stick out their rulers while she walks by their desks returning homework.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
Pirates!
So after the fabulous Ben Folds concert you would think the rest of the weekend would be just one big let down, but it was quite nice. Amy and I naturally woke up early after our crazy night in Hiroshima. The concert was followed by McDonald's and puricura- the sticker machine booth thing. There was a yukata (summer kimono) fair going on so all of the booths were packed with girls and guys dressed to the nines, but we found one. I feel bad for not being more fun but my feet hurt (the bad side to heels at a standing only concert), I was broke, and we had a 1am curfew at the hostel. The curfew sucks but the hostel is decent considering and you get your own room and bathroom and parking is only 700yen- and it is only a block from the Peace Museum- it is the Aster Plaza if you will be in Hiroshima.
Anyway, we were up and out by 9am and decided to hit the road. We had just been to Hiroshima last month and we are going to Osaka next weekend, so we weren't missing much. We ended up getting home by noon. I was surprised to find Motoaki there since he was supposed to have gone surfing. But, there were no waves that day. So, not wanting to waste a free day, we hit the road and went to Kurashiki for a movie, shopping, and lunch.
Motoaki had been wanting to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and this was our chance. We both have been busy busy busy with work and play lately. In Japan movies are far away from where I live and they are expensive (about 22 dollars and no options of matinee), so we don't go much. Plus, hardly anything comes out over here or it comes out late. Still, I love movies and will see anything. I actually liked the movie. Sure, it was "just another sequel" but at least we had new characters without losing Jack. I must say, as brilliant of a mood it was to cast Johnny Depp, I also think it was absolutely spot on to cast Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa. After awhile I get a bit tired of Johnny Depp being, well, Johnny Depp but Geoffrey Rush keeps it outrageous yet contained. And I enjoyed the adding of Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane as Black Beard. I think the previous two Pirates movies were a bit confusing and this one brought it back to a simple mission and crews.
After the movie we went to the pet store to look at the dogs (someday... although there was an incredibly cute Yorkie) and then to the sports shop where we ended up buying a stair machine. I am not an impulse buyer and had actually seen this machine the last time we had gone to this mall, probably a month or two ago. I was really unsure about it because I hadn't really educated myself on the differences in machines and there happened to be 2 there- one for 50 dollars and one for 147. We got the cheaper one and it seems to be a good machine ( http://www.overstock.com/
Before I used to climb the stairs in my apartment building but that would be sometimes embarrassing (especially when it is hot and I just want to wear a tank top and a pair of boxers) and probably annoying to the people who share a wall with the stair case. But with this small machine I can stay in the living room in my skimpy workout gear AND watch TV. And even Motoaki was surprised at how hard the little machine actually was. Here's hoping it helps. I hate that my sister is getting all fit and skinny! I should just take up jogging but I loathe running outside and I don't have a gym to fit my schedule (the gyms in our area open at like 10 and close like at 8).
Anyway, we were up and out by 9am and decided to hit the road. We had just been to Hiroshima last month and we are going to Osaka next weekend, so we weren't missing much. We ended up getting home by noon. I was surprised to find Motoaki there since he was supposed to have gone surfing. But, there were no waves that day. So, not wanting to waste a free day, we hit the road and went to Kurashiki for a movie, shopping, and lunch.
Motoaki had been wanting to see Pirates of the Caribbean 4 and this was our chance. We both have been busy busy busy with work and play lately. In Japan movies are far away from where I live and they are expensive (about 22 dollars and no options of matinee), so we don't go much. Plus, hardly anything comes out over here or it comes out late. Still, I love movies and will see anything. I actually liked the movie. Sure, it was "just another sequel" but at least we had new characters without losing Jack. I must say, as brilliant of a mood it was to cast Johnny Depp, I also think it was absolutely spot on to cast Geoffrey Rush as Barbossa. After awhile I get a bit tired of Johnny Depp being, well, Johnny Depp but Geoffrey Rush keeps it outrageous yet contained. And I enjoyed the adding of Penelope Cruz and Ian McShane as Black Beard. I think the previous two Pirates movies were a bit confusing and this one brought it back to a simple mission and crews.
After the movie we went to the pet store to look at the dogs (someday... although there was an incredibly cute Yorkie) and then to the sports shop where we ended up buying a stair machine. I am not an impulse buyer and had actually seen this machine the last time we had gone to this mall, probably a month or two ago. I was really unsure about it because I hadn't really educated myself on the differences in machines and there happened to be 2 there- one for 50 dollars and one for 147. We got the cheaper one and it seems to be a good machine ( http://www.overstock.com/
Before I used to climb the stairs in my apartment building but that would be sometimes embarrassing (especially when it is hot and I just want to wear a tank top and a pair of boxers) and probably annoying to the people who share a wall with the stair case. But with this small machine I can stay in the living room in my skimpy workout gear AND watch TV. And even Motoaki was surprised at how hard the little machine actually was. Here's hoping it helps. I hate that my sister is getting all fit and skinny! I should just take up jogging but I loathe running outside and I don't have a gym to fit my schedule (the gyms in our area open at like 10 and close like at 8).
Ben Folds in Japan!!
The actual show was amazing. I was happy to hear that Ben Folds voice live sounds like it does on the CD. I hate when you go and the sound is completely different. He also had extremely talented musicians that could both sing and play. After a few songs he explained that they were recording the concert so sometimes they would repeat verses or openings. They also interacted with the audience a lot to get certain "audience participation,"like singing and clapping. That was fun because it broke down the barrier in certain ways.
I guess when Ben Folds played in Hiroshima before, he fell off the stage and had to go to the hospital for head x-rays. He wrote a song about it and it was on his, Way to Normal CD. A lot of the audience had been at that show so there was a lot of joking going on, and I was surprised that Ben and some of his band mates spoke Japanese (though the pronunciation was really hard to understand).
At one point he called out for requests and because a) I am loud, b) I speak clear English, c) I am blond, and d) I was close to the stage, mine got picked. I don't know why but Gracie just came out of my mouth so that is what we got. In the end he never ended up playing Brick so I should have called out for that, but oh well. Amy was sad because her song, Karaoke Supernova didn't get chosen. Only one other request was taken and that was by a Japanese girl who called out for Smoke after me, which was a song I had kind of forgotten about but which I knew all of the words to.
Another great moment was when the band played a song with "toy instruments." Ben played a small keyboard, one guy played acoustic guitar, one guy had a maraca, the bass player played bass on his iphone, and the drummer played on an Anpanman drum.
I felt bad because Amy and I, being American, were a little louder and wilder than the Japanese and one lady got a little mad. I can't help if I sing along- how can you not? And I can't help it if I am loud when I get excited (TGIF FRIDAYS- laugh if you get that joke). Or if I dance and throw my arms. Amy was mad at a couple in matching outfits (oh Japan) who were in the front row who were not into the music. She thought they were a waste of space. For the most part, though, the crowd was a good one. I was surprised that so many Japanese people knew Ben Folds and that some could even sing along.
Of course, it was funny to see people dancing and head bopping to some of the more depressing songs that just happen to have good beats. It helped to be one of the few English speakers in the crowd. At one point the manager was on stage and he made an inappropriate joke and sad, Sloppy seconds, to which I kind of groaned to and Ben looked over. We were the only ones to get what they were talking about. Another time when the tambourine guy came down front Amy and I started cat calling him, saying tambourines were hot, and he turned around and winked at us. This all sounds silly, but it was nice to go to a concert and to be able to interact with the band (instead of like the US where we always get upstaged by hot bitches- Japanese girls are hot but they couldn't follow the English fast enough or they were too shy to make comments).
I feel like this post is just not doing it justice. In all reality the show was one of the best concerts I have ever been to (after maybe Nickel Creek, the Bebo Norman show where only about 20 people showed up, Simon and Garfunkel with my Dad, and the Dave Matthews Band shows) and I really hope he can come back. Sometimes I go to concerts and the bands play new songs which I don't really care for so I sit down. But even though Ben Folds played a lot of new stuff, it only made me want to buy more music. The lyrics are good and not your average fair.
I guess all that is left to say is that Ben Folds was amazing and I highly recommend him.
And here is the set list...
Ben Folds Concert at Hiroshima Club Quattro, Hiroshima, Japan Setlist on June 3, 2011
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- (Ke$ha cover)
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- Solo
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- Band returns
- (Toy Instruments version)
- (Ben reads Japanese lyrics)
- (Ben Folds Five song)
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- (Ben Folds Five song)
- Encore:
- (Ben Folds Five song)
- (Ben Folds Five song)
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Thursday, June 2, 2011
Distraction
Today we had a track and field day at our school. It was actually a competition between all of the schools in the area and so when I arrived this morning there was a bit of chaos as buses, coaches, and parents all tried to find parking. In Japan there isn't much space so we don't really have a lot of parking. Normally when there is "an event" everyone parks on the "playing field," but since the track was on the playing field, that didn't work. Yeah, due to no space Japanese schools just have a large dirt area that is used for everything such as soccer, baseball, track & field, sports day, cultural day, etc The school is directly behind this area so it is easy to see from inside the building. Also, since our school just consists of a row of homerooms all in a row, the field can be seen from every classroom which had one whole wall made up of windows. This made my job today a little tricky.
See, in America if there was going to be a big event like this it would be held after school or on a weekend. But not in Japan. They decided to have the event starting in the morning. OK- good idea as the kids and staff will be done by the regular "school finished time." But, bad idea because not all of the kids get to go to the track day. Only those who have qualified (after racing in P.E.- about 4-10 from each class). So, I got to go to class and try and teach students English while just outside of the windows could be heard the sounds of cheering, the announcer, and the starting pistols. Ughhh....
We tried, we really did. We skipped ahead in the textbook to the part where we get to study and sing "Hello, Good-bye" by the Beatles. We taught "Do you know?" "Do you have?" "Do you like?" and let the kids ask Jane sensei ANYTHING they wanted. we gave out stickers. But alas, I ended up spending four class periods asking people to sit down, to stop looking out the windows, to please listen, to go back to their seats...
It was especially disappointing as usually this is one of the best days of the year. The past two years the competition has been held at a different school and thus, with kids being gone from classes, things have been a bit quieter. Also, because we can't go ahead without "everyone," we usually got to play fun games and have "English races." But alas, this year I was stuck with the real races going on outside and with a teacher who, while doing what she thought of as fun, turned down my ideas of bingo (we were even studying numbers!!), using decks of cards, and ABC races. Oh well... shoganai.
See, in America if there was going to be a big event like this it would be held after school or on a weekend. But not in Japan. They decided to have the event starting in the morning. OK- good idea as the kids and staff will be done by the regular "school finished time." But, bad idea because not all of the kids get to go to the track day. Only those who have qualified (after racing in P.E.- about 4-10 from each class). So, I got to go to class and try and teach students English while just outside of the windows could be heard the sounds of cheering, the announcer, and the starting pistols. Ughhh....
We tried, we really did. We skipped ahead in the textbook to the part where we get to study and sing "Hello, Good-bye" by the Beatles. We taught "Do you know?" "Do you have?" "Do you like?" and let the kids ask Jane sensei ANYTHING they wanted. we gave out stickers. But alas, I ended up spending four class periods asking people to sit down, to stop looking out the windows, to please listen, to go back to their seats...
It was especially disappointing as usually this is one of the best days of the year. The past two years the competition has been held at a different school and thus, with kids being gone from classes, things have been a bit quieter. Also, because we can't go ahead without "everyone," we usually got to play fun games and have "English races." But alas, this year I was stuck with the real races going on outside and with a teacher who, while doing what she thought of as fun, turned down my ideas of bingo (we were even studying numbers!!), using decks of cards, and ABC races. Oh well... shoganai.
The Rapture and 2012
OK- so I don't believe in the rapture. I don't think that there is a way for any of us to know how, when, and where the world will end. I am not even sure if I believe that the world will ever end. Though I am a Christian, I am more spiritual than literal and don't really take the bible as the truth. Instead, I take the bible for its general message of peace, love, and kindness.
I also doubt global warming. Ok, so I don't doubt it, but it is hard for my brain to process the idea that we might be killing our planet and that it might cease to exist someday.
However, you have to wonder if something is up. We had the record snows these past two years. There were the floods in Brazil and Australia and the earthquake in Christ Church. I read a lot of blogs written by women who are married to Japanese men and live in Japan but who are from those areas. Then the whole Japan thing and now the flooding and tornadoes in Iowa. Kind of makes you pause and think.
Of course, one thing that is reassuring is that with a lot of these events they have said, "These are the worst since ####" In other words, mother earth has seen this before. And I do believe that part of it is due to there being a mass media that makes it possible to know about these events and to be able to watch these events on TV and on the internet. I think too I am in a unique situation in that, in my world of expats, I am constantly interacting with a global community. After all, I was recently talking to a girl from back home and she didn't know what I was talking about when i first mentioned Christ Church. If I didn't live in Japan then I wouldn't read those blogs, and it is very possible that I wouldn't have heard more than a blip on the news about Christ Church.
It might not be a joking matter, and it might be too soon, but I really enjoyed The Onion article I read today. I actually read The Onion everyday at work as it looks like I am actually doing something productive when really I am not. But anyway, I had to laugh when I saw the headline,
In the end, I don't really worry about fate of the world, but I do think about the fragility of life and the world we know. Of course, when i think about all of the changes that have happened in my life (we are now friends with the Russians, we now sit face to face and chat via computers) and when i think about the changes that happened in the life of my great uncles/aunts/grandparents (we are now friends with the Japanese, we now go to the moon), I have to believe that the world we know will change anyway, and that's not the end of the world.
And in regards to The Onion laughing about disaster...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
I also doubt global warming. Ok, so I don't doubt it, but it is hard for my brain to process the idea that we might be killing our planet and that it might cease to exist someday.
However, you have to wonder if something is up. We had the record snows these past two years. There were the floods in Brazil and Australia and the earthquake in Christ Church. I read a lot of blogs written by women who are married to Japanese men and live in Japan but who are from those areas. Then the whole Japan thing and now the flooding and tornadoes in Iowa. Kind of makes you pause and think.
Of course, one thing that is reassuring is that with a lot of these events they have said, "These are the worst since ####" In other words, mother earth has seen this before. And I do believe that part of it is due to there being a mass media that makes it possible to know about these events and to be able to watch these events on TV and on the internet. I think too I am in a unique situation in that, in my world of expats, I am constantly interacting with a global community. After all, I was recently talking to a girl from back home and she didn't know what I was talking about when i first mentioned Christ Church. If I didn't live in Japan then I wouldn't read those blogs, and it is very possible that I wouldn't have heard more than a blip on the news about Christ Church.
It might not be a joking matter, and it might be too soon, but I really enjoyed The Onion article I read today. I actually read The Onion everyday at work as it looks like I am actually doing something productive when really I am not. But anyway, I had to laugh when I saw the headline,
Planet Earth Doesn't Know How To Make It Any Clearer It Wants Everyone To Leave
The article is all about how the earth is trying to give us the hint that we aren't wanted, and that how we keep persisting and carrying on despite the worst. Again, maybe not funny considering the amount of lives lost, communities destroyed, etc Here is the link for the whole article... http://www.theonion.com/In the end, I don't really worry about fate of the world, but I do think about the fragility of life and the world we know. Of course, when i think about all of the changes that have happened in my life (we are now friends with the Russians, we now sit face to face and chat via computers) and when i think about the changes that happened in the life of my great uncles/aunts/grandparents (we are now friends with the Japanese, we now go to the moon), I have to believe that the world we know will change anyway, and that's not the end of the world.
And in regards to The Onion laughing about disaster...
http://www.youtube.com/watch?
Words for Wednesday
I am currently reading Freedom by Jonathan Franzen. Last year on a total whim I read his other big novel, The Corrections, and was absolutely sucked in due to how well he wrote about the everyday Midwestern family. Though I felt the events in the book weren't something I had ever experience, the feelings the characters had for each other was something I could relate to. In Freedom I feel the same way. His portrayal of a Midwestern family looking at "where they went wrong with each other" makes me think of the relationships I have in my life. I think everyone has a complex relationship with the people they grew up with and who raised them. It is especially interesting to see how those relationships change after reaching adulthood, and Franzen captures it spot on.
I was drawn to a passage on page 281 of Freedom, which follows a heated phone call between a father and his son who is off at college,
"His father seemed glad to let the subject drop, and Joey was also glad. He relished feeling cool and in control of his life, and it was disturbing to discover that there was this other thing in him, this reservoir of rage, this complex of family feelings that could suddenly explode and take control of him. The angry words he'd spoken to his father had felt pre-formed, as if there were an aggrieved second self inside him 24/7, ordinarily invisible but clearly fully sentient and ready to vent itself, at a moment's notice, in the form of sentences independent of his volition. It made him wonder who his real self was; and this was very disturbing."
I once had a girl ask me if I ever got angry. I laughed a bit at first, but she went on to say that she couldn't imagine me fighting with other people. I said she had never been around me when I had been with family. And yet, I can't say why it is that I do fight with my family. For the most part we get along fine, but when we do fight it is BIG. As in screeching, yelling, kicking, hanging-up. There are other people in the world who get under my skin a LOT more and who piss me off royally, and yet I let them get away with it due to my wish to keep the peace and to keep myself cool and collected. And yet the littlest things will absolutely set me off when I am with family, and the same for them. And I always feel bad later and wonder why it is I can't grow up and let things go.
Motoaki is very similar. The man works with special needs adults and yet never gets frustrated, never loses his patience, etc Still, I often hear him having heated arguments on the phone with his father over what seems, to me, to be fairly irrelevant things.
I had a friend go home recently and on her return she complained that all she did was fight with her family. One of her sisters swore at her, much to her surprise, and another said she shouldn't come back any time soon. This is unbelievable as this friend is extremely mature for her age and always kind to people, even if she doesn't like them. Another friend had her mother visit her in Japan and she said they fought a lot as well. So much that she threatened to kick her mom out of her car and tell her to walk home.
Anyway, since a lot of families seem to have this sort of dynamic, I think that Jonathan Franzen is probably relatable for a lot of people. Though I haven't finished the book, I have read 300 pages of it in the past week and that is despite having to work full time, going to Osaka, and having friends visit. I highly suggest it, although I think The Corrections might be better. In a side note, the book is interesting because a lot of it takes place in St. Paul where I went to school and the characters go to the U of Minnesota and Macalester.
Japanese Memorial Service Part Three: Party
So after the seriousness of the actual ceremony, we all left the house to go to a nearby ryokan (Japanese style hotel/resort) for lunch and onsen (hot spring/bath). We ate in a big tatami mat hall that had low tables so we sat on the floor. The lunch was a traditional Japanese one in that we started with a plate of various pickled vegetables and raw fish (sashimi). We then moved to grilled beef and vegetables and chawanmushi, a kind of egg pudding. Finally we had boiled shrimp and rice and tempura. This was also served with tea, water, juice and beer.
Now one of my biggest surprises in coming to Japan was how much the Japanese drink. Where I am from in America people drink at dinner but they don't drink to excess and it is rare to see someone drunk. In Japan, though, they seem to drink everyday and at every occasion. It is not unusual to see a man having a beer with his lunch on a train or to see a grandma enjoying sake. So of course this lunch was no exception.
Another custom with Japanese drinking is that you usually pour for the other person. The same goes for tea and juice. And during lunch parties like the one we have, people will get up from their table and go to other tables to pour drinks. If someone comes to you but your glass is full, you should drink a bit and let them give you a refill. Though people do this for juice and tea, it is most popular to go around with beer. Now Motoaki, his sister, and his parents are unusual in that none of them drink. Motoaki gets sick off it, his sister and mother aren't interested, and his dad is trying to stay off it. They will have a little bit if it is absolutely the custom (I think they drank at my wedding, they drink during toasts, they drink at new year's) but even then they will just have a sip and then switch to tea or ginger ale.
So at the party whenever our table got approached by an uncle or cousin wanting to pour drinks, everyone in Motoaki's family would say, "Oh, I'm not drinking today. But Jane is." In other words I became the DD, or the designated drinker, for the family. Luckily they only had beer and it was light. I went to another party awhile back where people were coming around with beer followed by sake followed by whisky.
The party started out fairly quiet as each family ate and talked quietly. Then there was a little excitement as Motoaki's uncle who had the ceremony at his house gave out tickets he had gotten from the horse race. We were all given a different number representing a different horse and we were told that the race would take place in Tokyo later on and that we would be able to check the results. The uncle would then pay us the money and cash in the tickets later. I was reminded of when my Grandpa Dwayne used to hand out pull tabs or scratch off lotto tickets at Christmas time. Due to the number of people, everyone had the same number as one other person, and Motoaki and his dad both got 13, which turned out to be the winning horse, and they each got about $30.
Anyway, the party was the usual family affair and a little boring for me since it was hard to follow all of the conversation. Then once the alcohol sat in I got a request from a table across the room to go and meet the police officer cousin and his family. Then all of the young or energetic family members crowded around that table to ask me all sorts of questions that are the usual for non-Japanese guests (where are you from, can you eat fish, when will you have a baby). I always say that if you have low self-esteem, move to Japan. Here I was, in a room of mini-skirt clad girls who all weighed about 110 pounds, being told, "Oh you are so cute! Your face is small and your eyes are green! And you are so smart to be able to say a sentence in Japanese and to be able to read at a kindergarten-level!" Again, though, a lot of this is also because Motoaki's family is very kind and opening. I was also free to practice Japanese and ask all sorts of things that I might be too shy to ask other Japanese people.
After everything was eaten and too much was drank, most people set off for the bath house. Though I enjoy these, I was a little too shy (and a little sleepy from the beer) to join in (they are naked bath houses) and was left with Motoaki's parents and the oldest uncles. At first I was a little mad at Motoaki for ditching me, but then it turned out great because I was able to ask more about Motoaki's mom and her siblings' childhoods. It always shocks me that, when I ask Motoaki questions about this, he knows nothing. I guess my family in America just talks to much. I just find it really interesting, though, because when Motoaki's mom was growing up, Japan was extremely different as she grew up when the war had just ended. She and her siblings were able to see Japan go from being defeated to a super power as far as wealth and technology. I was very surprised to hear from them that (supposedly) they didn't fight growing up.
After the others came back from the bath house we had numerous photos (one of each family, one of the siblings together, one of just the cousins, one of just the girls, etc) taken that hopefully I can get copies of soon. I was excited to hear that in June Motoaki's Kansai cousins are having an Osaka BBQ that they want me to join. They have the best camera so they took all of the pictures. I think I can get copies at the BBQ.
Since we had to drive the farthest, we were the first to leave. I was a little sad to have to go so early (we left around 3:30pm) but then excited to learn that we would be stopping in Costco on the way home since Motoaki's uncle lives near it. I didn't go quite so crazy because we had all of us in the car and because I didn't have so much money, but I did get a lot of nice cheese, dried cranberries, cheap sports socks, good meat, Dr Pepper, and a birthday gift for Ben's baby who will turn one this week. I am happy to say that I introduced Motoaki's mom to Costco and she LOVES it. She retired from being a nurse a few years ago and now works at Motoaki's center cooking lunch for the special needs adults. She uses Costco to stock up on a lot of staples they can use for lunch like sauces, juice, canned goods, etc.
It was a good weekend and definitely made me think that living in Japan long term won't be horrible. I have some worries about raising kids in the school system here, but I am happy to know that my kids can grow up with cousins to spend holidays and birthdays with.
Now one of my biggest surprises in coming to Japan was how much the Japanese drink. Where I am from in America people drink at dinner but they don't drink to excess and it is rare to see someone drunk. In Japan, though, they seem to drink everyday and at every occasion. It is not unusual to see a man having a beer with his lunch on a train or to see a grandma enjoying sake. So of course this lunch was no exception.
Another custom with Japanese drinking is that you usually pour for the other person. The same goes for tea and juice. And during lunch parties like the one we have, people will get up from their table and go to other tables to pour drinks. If someone comes to you but your glass is full, you should drink a bit and let them give you a refill. Though people do this for juice and tea, it is most popular to go around with beer. Now Motoaki, his sister, and his parents are unusual in that none of them drink. Motoaki gets sick off it, his sister and mother aren't interested, and his dad is trying to stay off it. They will have a little bit if it is absolutely the custom (I think they drank at my wedding, they drink during toasts, they drink at new year's) but even then they will just have a sip and then switch to tea or ginger ale.
So at the party whenever our table got approached by an uncle or cousin wanting to pour drinks, everyone in Motoaki's family would say, "Oh, I'm not drinking today. But Jane is." In other words I became the DD, or the designated drinker, for the family. Luckily they only had beer and it was light. I went to another party awhile back where people were coming around with beer followed by sake followed by whisky.
The party started out fairly quiet as each family ate and talked quietly. Then there was a little excitement as Motoaki's uncle who had the ceremony at his house gave out tickets he had gotten from the horse race. We were all given a different number representing a different horse and we were told that the race would take place in Tokyo later on and that we would be able to check the results. The uncle would then pay us the money and cash in the tickets later. I was reminded of when my Grandpa Dwayne used to hand out pull tabs or scratch off lotto tickets at Christmas time. Due to the number of people, everyone had the same number as one other person, and Motoaki and his dad both got 13, which turned out to be the winning horse, and they each got about $30.
Anyway, the party was the usual family affair and a little boring for me since it was hard to follow all of the conversation. Then once the alcohol sat in I got a request from a table across the room to go and meet the police officer cousin and his family. Then all of the young or energetic family members crowded around that table to ask me all sorts of questions that are the usual for non-Japanese guests (where are you from, can you eat fish, when will you have a baby). I always say that if you have low self-esteem, move to Japan. Here I was, in a room of mini-skirt clad girls who all weighed about 110 pounds, being told, "Oh you are so cute! Your face is small and your eyes are green! And you are so smart to be able to say a sentence in Japanese and to be able to read at a kindergarten-level!" Again, though, a lot of this is also because Motoaki's family is very kind and opening. I was also free to practice Japanese and ask all sorts of things that I might be too shy to ask other Japanese people.
After everything was eaten and too much was drank, most people set off for the bath house. Though I enjoy these, I was a little too shy (and a little sleepy from the beer) to join in (they are naked bath houses) and was left with Motoaki's parents and the oldest uncles. At first I was a little mad at Motoaki for ditching me, but then it turned out great because I was able to ask more about Motoaki's mom and her siblings' childhoods. It always shocks me that, when I ask Motoaki questions about this, he knows nothing. I guess my family in America just talks to much. I just find it really interesting, though, because when Motoaki's mom was growing up, Japan was extremely different as she grew up when the war had just ended. She and her siblings were able to see Japan go from being defeated to a super power as far as wealth and technology. I was very surprised to hear from them that (supposedly) they didn't fight growing up.
After the others came back from the bath house we had numerous photos (one of each family, one of the siblings together, one of just the cousins, one of just the girls, etc) taken that hopefully I can get copies of soon. I was excited to hear that in June Motoaki's Kansai cousins are having an Osaka BBQ that they want me to join. They have the best camera so they took all of the pictures. I think I can get copies at the BBQ.
Since we had to drive the farthest, we were the first to leave. I was a little sad to have to go so early (we left around 3:30pm) but then excited to learn that we would be stopping in Costco on the way home since Motoaki's uncle lives near it. I didn't go quite so crazy because we had all of us in the car and because I didn't have so much money, but I did get a lot of nice cheese, dried cranberries, cheap sports socks, good meat, Dr Pepper, and a birthday gift for Ben's baby who will turn one this week. I am happy to say that I introduced Motoaki's mom to Costco and she LOVES it. She retired from being a nurse a few years ago and now works at Motoaki's center cooking lunch for the special needs adults. She uses Costco to stock up on a lot of staples they can use for lunch like sauces, juice, canned goods, etc.
It was a good weekend and definitely made me think that living in Japan long term won't be horrible. I have some worries about raising kids in the school system here, but I am happy to know that my kids can grow up with cousins to spend holidays and birthdays with.
Japanese Memorial Service Part Two: The Service
So as I said we went to Motoaki's uncle's house to participate in the 13th years after death ceremony they were going to have for his grandmother, or his mother's mother. I knew about this in advance and so I was able to plan in advance. Because we are in the rainy season and it is nearly impossible to do laundry (we don't have a dryer- probably wont get one until we get a house), I asked early about what we were going to wear. I have two nice dresses that I wore my mom's wake and funeral, so I asked Motoaki about these. But he said that they were way too formal and that I should go more casual. I asked about colors and he said really anything was fine. The week before I had worn a nice lacy cream-colored tunic. So, I decided to wear this with black dress Capri's, a scarf, and heals. I asked Motoaki the night before and the day of if this was fine, and he told me to stop worrying and that it looked great.
Of course we arrived in Osaka to see all of the other women wearing black dresses- formal ones like they wear to weddings or at work parties. I was pretty angry at Motoaki but he told me not to sweat it because I am a foreigner who doesn't know better. Though I know this is true (this is the one country where everyone is honestly looking at my hair and eyes and not my chest and thighs), I was mad because I really wanted to make an effort to "fit in." Whenever Motoaki comes to the states I more or less pack for him- not because I am bossy or don't approve of his clothing, but because I know what the various occasions (church, dinner in Texas, Christmas parties, etc) call for. Oh well, Motoaki's family is super nice and no one seemed to care.
The actual ceremony was held in a tatami (bamboo flooring) room in the house of his uncle. The room was the size of a small kitchen in the US but we had to fit about 21 people in it. This being Japan, the room was filled with floor cushions and then four chairs in the back. Everyone insisted that I sit on a chair since I was foreign and not used to sitting on the floor but I held my ground and gave the chairs to the "older people." I then proceeded to sit seza, or where you sit on your knees and then lower yourself so your butt touches your heels. To most foreigners this is the worst and I can say that when I came to Japan I wasn't a fan. But, after five years I have gotten used to sitting like this (we had to do it in Kendo, we do it at certain restaurants, and I do it when I teach little kids on the floor) and can do it for a fairly long time. Of course, it helps that I am stubborn and was determined to make an impression that day that I could be just as Japanese as the rest.
The walls of the room were bare but on one side was a small wooden cabinet that Japanese people use as an alter in their homes for prayer and the deceased. After looking online, I believe it is called a butsudan but I am not sure. I wanted to ask Motoaki a million questions but I didn't want to bother him. Anyway, inside the alter there is usually an array of things that the gods and the deceased like, such as fruit, sake, and traditional sweets. Of course, in less formal houses there will also be cans of beer, packaged snacks (think like little Debbies), and even toys if the person was young when they died. They look something like this.
http://www.google.com/imgres?
We all sat facing the altar and a monk/priest in a white and purple robe sat in front of us, facing away from us. I was surprised at how young he was- he looked early 20s or 30s. I get a little confused in Japan because they have two major religions, Shinto and Buddhism, and often times families will carry traditions from both. Maybe like explaining protestants and catholics in America- similar and yet not. The monk/priest handed out small prayer books and then we proceeded to chant in what sounded like Indian music. Because the words are hard even for the average Japanese (think of some older editions of the bible or Shakespeare), the books had kanji (the complex alphabet) and hiragana (the easy one) side by side so that I could follow along as well. This was a big help because I could participate and, because I was concentrating on reading, I didn't have to think about the pain slowly creeping up in my legs.
We chanted and repeated for about 40 minutes. I did ask Motoaki later if understood everything and he said not really. At the end the priest/monk turned around and had a conversation with everyone while they served him tea and traditional sweets. This was the hardest part to sit through because when he closed the book I thought we were done and could move. To find out that, no, we had to sit another 30 minutes was pretty bad, but I toughed it out. I couldn't really stand up when we finally were, "allowed to move," but the same could be said for all of the cousins as well.
The ceremony was a little surreal as it made me realize that I am in Japan and that I am part of a Japanese family now. I mean, I KNOW that I am in Japan but it can be pretty easy to forget as I get used to day to day life and as my language ability improves. I realized that there is a lot more I want to know about Motoaki's families and traditions. For example, later when I was asking Motoaki if they had this same ceremony for his other family, he said that no, they didn't because his father's father had been a shinto priest which had different ceremonies.
One thing that really shocked me was that, when I asked Motoaki what his grandma's name had been, he didn't know. He also didn't know what his grandfather's name had been. We asked his mom in the car and when she told me (grandma Toyo grandpa Mataichi) Motoaki's sister said that she hadn't known their names either. Of course, I mentioned this to my Thai friend and my Vietnamese-American friend, they said they didn't know their grandparents first names either. Interesting cultural difference.
So after the ceremony we all left the room to have fruit, snacks, coffee, and beer, and then we headed out for a lunch party that I will talk about next time.
Of course we arrived in Osaka to see all of the other women wearing black dresses- formal ones like they wear to weddings or at work parties. I was pretty angry at Motoaki but he told me not to sweat it because I am a foreigner who doesn't know better. Though I know this is true (this is the one country where everyone is honestly looking at my hair and eyes and not my chest and thighs), I was mad because I really wanted to make an effort to "fit in." Whenever Motoaki comes to the states I more or less pack for him- not because I am bossy or don't approve of his clothing, but because I know what the various occasions (church, dinner in Texas, Christmas parties, etc) call for. Oh well, Motoaki's family is super nice and no one seemed to care.
The actual ceremony was held in a tatami (bamboo flooring) room in the house of his uncle. The room was the size of a small kitchen in the US but we had to fit about 21 people in it. This being Japan, the room was filled with floor cushions and then four chairs in the back. Everyone insisted that I sit on a chair since I was foreign and not used to sitting on the floor but I held my ground and gave the chairs to the "older people." I then proceeded to sit seza, or where you sit on your knees and then lower yourself so your butt touches your heels. To most foreigners this is the worst and I can say that when I came to Japan I wasn't a fan. But, after five years I have gotten used to sitting like this (we had to do it in Kendo, we do it at certain restaurants, and I do it when I teach little kids on the floor) and can do it for a fairly long time. Of course, it helps that I am stubborn and was determined to make an impression that day that I could be just as Japanese as the rest.
The walls of the room were bare but on one side was a small wooden cabinet that Japanese people use as an alter in their homes for prayer and the deceased. After looking online, I believe it is called a butsudan but I am not sure. I wanted to ask Motoaki a million questions but I didn't want to bother him. Anyway, inside the alter there is usually an array of things that the gods and the deceased like, such as fruit, sake, and traditional sweets. Of course, in less formal houses there will also be cans of beer, packaged snacks (think like little Debbies), and even toys if the person was young when they died. They look something like this.
http://www.google.com/imgres?
We all sat facing the altar and a monk/priest in a white and purple robe sat in front of us, facing away from us. I was surprised at how young he was- he looked early 20s or 30s. I get a little confused in Japan because they have two major religions, Shinto and Buddhism, and often times families will carry traditions from both. Maybe like explaining protestants and catholics in America- similar and yet not. The monk/priest handed out small prayer books and then we proceeded to chant in what sounded like Indian music. Because the words are hard even for the average Japanese (think of some older editions of the bible or Shakespeare), the books had kanji (the complex alphabet) and hiragana (the easy one) side by side so that I could follow along as well. This was a big help because I could participate and, because I was concentrating on reading, I didn't have to think about the pain slowly creeping up in my legs.
We chanted and repeated for about 40 minutes. I did ask Motoaki later if understood everything and he said not really. At the end the priest/monk turned around and had a conversation with everyone while they served him tea and traditional sweets. This was the hardest part to sit through because when he closed the book I thought we were done and could move. To find out that, no, we had to sit another 30 minutes was pretty bad, but I toughed it out. I couldn't really stand up when we finally were, "allowed to move," but the same could be said for all of the cousins as well.
The ceremony was a little surreal as it made me realize that I am in Japan and that I am part of a Japanese family now. I mean, I KNOW that I am in Japan but it can be pretty easy to forget as I get used to day to day life and as my language ability improves. I realized that there is a lot more I want to know about Motoaki's families and traditions. For example, later when I was asking Motoaki if they had this same ceremony for his other family, he said that no, they didn't because his father's father had been a shinto priest which had different ceremonies.
One thing that really shocked me was that, when I asked Motoaki what his grandma's name had been, he didn't know. He also didn't know what his grandfather's name had been. We asked his mom in the car and when she told me (grandma Toyo grandpa Mataichi) Motoaki's sister said that she hadn't known their names either. Of course, I mentioned this to my Thai friend and my Vietnamese-American friend, they said they didn't know their grandparents first names either. Interesting cultural difference.
So after the ceremony we all left the room to have fruit, snacks, coffee, and beer, and then we headed out for a lunch party that I will talk about next time.
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