Japanese Baptism

So it wasn't really a baptism in the sense that we think of one, but we took Robin to a temple to get her blessed.  Motoaki's grandfather was a Shinto priest and so part of Motoaki's parents house is a temple.  But people don't really practice there anymore (except for a few old people) so we went to the headquarters of their specific brand of Shintoism just outside of Kurashiki (for those of you have visited me, it is the town with the mall and the button rings) in Tamashima.

I didn't know what to expect other than the fact that Robin was going to be wearing a Christianing gown and a kimono that her grandmother had bought her.  Apparently the kimono was around $2000 and was the most expensive one at the place she went to (according to Grandpa).  Can we say spoiled?  It is quite beautiful.  Not the colors that I would have chosen, but seeing as I didn't buy it, I didn't say anything.  It seems like a lot for a baby but she will wear it again for her 3 year old blessing/ceremony.  You can read more about that here on wiki  http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shichi-Go-San

We got to the temple and it was actually quite a big building.  It looked more like a school rather than the temples I am used to.  There was a traditional temple next to the large, gym-like structure we were entering which I guess is the original structure on the complex.  This was nice as it meant that it was actually going to be warm inside.  However, it made me mad since I had gone for weather instead of fashion with my clothing choice and seeing as how I am in between sizes these days, I didn't look too hot.  I had on work pants and a blouse I got forever ago at Khols.  If I had known it was going to be in a big building I would have worn one of the dresses I had worn to me brothers wedding with a cardigan.

We entered first into a basement and changed Robin in a tatami room that looks like it is used for receptions.  I had put her in a sleeper for the car ride since, no matter how much I trust cloth diapers, there is always that fear of exploding poo.  It quickly became "Grandma's Day" which is fine.  I am not super possessive of Robin and am willing to share her, especially for something that I don't really care deeply about.  Not saying that I don't care or respect Motoaki's families traditions, but it is not something I have ever done before so it doesn't mean as much to me.  So anyway I let her dress Robin.  Even when the hat didn't fit and she kept retying and retying it (whereas I would have just taken it off) I let it be.  Luckily Robin was pretty chill and didn't get fussy about it.

I had actually been mistaken about the kimono.  Robin didn't wear it, I did, blanket style over Robin while holding her.  This wasn't a big deal but it did mean that I was more "up front and center" and it also meant that I wasn't going to be able to step back and take pictures.  Not a big deal but Motoaki isn't familiar with my camera and accidentally messed up the settings, resulting in most of the shots being a bit blurry.

After we had finished dressing her we went upstairs to a big open room where people were praying.  We then went to a corner and asked for the blessing from a priest who was doing this for several people.  The whole thing lasted almost all of ten minutes.  No big deal but I felt bad as MIL had spent so much on clothing.  I had expected there to be more but didn't mind it being short since Robin is still small and can get fussy out of nowhere.

After leaving the big room I assumed we would be packing up and heading for home, possibly stopping for lunch.  I went to change Robin out of her stuff but the PIL told me to wait since we were going to be going for a photo shoot.  Now I got a little upset about this because I hadn't been told about it.  I don't mind pictures but I do mind when I am wearing crappy clothing and didn't really do anything as far as make-up or jewelry.

It was actually interesting because the photo shoot was done at a really old photo shop/studio.  The kind that Motoaki probably got his photo taken in back in 1975.  The photographer had to have been in his 70s and his only assistant was his wife, also quite old.  Still, they did a great job of getting Robin, a 6 week old, to focus and the photo that I have seen so far was great.  I say the photo I have seen so far because I only saw one- a passport photo for her Japanese photo.  That is actually for a whole other post.  Let's just say that even the professional photo was rejected by the super strict city hall.

Anyway, I was upset that I looked crappy for photos that will no doubt be sent to all of the relatives and be put on show in the living room for decades to come, but overall it was a good day.  We ended it by swinging into AEON Kurashiki (the big mall) for  Starbucks (Grandpa stayed in the car with a sleeping Robin) making it a GREAT day!  However, I am still looking forward to the Christian baptism that I am planning on having in March when I am in America.

Happy Birthday Motoaki...sort of...

June 14th was Motoaki's birthday.  It's easy to remember because that is flag day in the US and I was born on the 4th of July- we are a matched set.  Well, if you are American...

Anyway, we aren't big into birthdays but I try to do something.  He is turning 37 so he didn't want to make a big deal of it.  Since his birthday was on a week day we decided on having some really nice meat (well, nice for him- it's the Japanese "nice" which means really fatty...), salad, rice, and cake.

I was also excited because I was able to sneak away and buy him a new suitcase.  We have other suitcases but he likes hard cases (he is Japanese) and his old one has a big crack in it (I suspect it is like 12 years old).  I also got him some shorts that are "good for water and land."  At least that is what the tag said.  I thought I would get him a pair of khaki shorts since he only has one pair and he is always looking for them only to find that they are in the hamper or on the line.  This pair just happens to be "rough" which is good since Motoaki likes the beach and does a lot of outdoor work at his job.

So I raced home from work and got everything all set up.  I had to run a few errands and make some calls for work.  Was about to start cooking when I got a call that he was having trouble and wouldn't get to our house until 8.  AND when he got home we would need to go to a different city and get his car...

So I left the meat to thaw thinking we would just do the b-day celebrations on Friday.  He picked me up and we stopped for some udon (which is his favorite food anyway) and then got the car.  We made it home and he ate his cake by himself (I am not a big cake fan and was full).

It wasn't until the next morning that he told me that he would be going to a work party for dinner.  The meat that he had selected was thawed, had been thawing, and needed to be cooked.  So tonight while he was out I ate the birthday meal without him.  It really isn't the end of the world.  We are going to Hiroshima this weekend with my family and can celebrate there.

Ok so this isn't exactly how we would have eaten it.  We would have had rice, less greens, and sauce.  But Motoaki wasn't here so I had it my way.

Maggie and Dad: Part Two

So the next few days were quite laid back with my sister gone and with me back at work.  My dad walked around town and hung out with my dog while I was at work, and we got dinner together at night.  Maggie came back from Korea and they spent the next day at the mall.  They were going to go to a park and different places, but it was pouring down rain all day.

That night we got dinner with Motoaki's family and then went to Karaoke.  That is always fun, although I feel bad because Maggie and I are such Mic Hogs.

The next morning we got up early and headed to Shikoku, an island of Japan that Maggie and Dad had never been to.  To get there we had to pass the Seto Ohashi, or a really long bridge.  Actually, I checked wiki and it is the world's largest two-tiered bridge.  I had been over it a lot of times but for some reason never realized how close it was to our house.

Shikoku is known for udon noodles, a thick noodle usually paired with tempura or a soy sauce-type broth.  We went to an "Udon Making School," where we made noodles and then ate them.  I had done this before and it is a lot of fun.  The presenters are very energetic and at one point you are made to "dance" on the noodles.  They play J-Pop and the whole room really gets into the art of stomping on dough that is in a plastic bag.

I didn't get pictures of us making the dough, but this is Maggie and Motoaki cooking the noodles.

The school is at the base of flights and flights of stone steps that take you up to a temple.  All along the steps are shops with all sorts of souvenirs.  I wish I remembered the name of it, but that is the problem of going around with my Japanese husband- I don't actually have to know where we are going.  We had a nice bit of exercise and enjoyed looking in the shops.

All of us climbing the stairs.

 I was very surprised when I ran into my coworker from my Jr high school.  I was surprised because we were a little far from home and because teachers are usually busy on weekends with club and things.  He was also surprised to see me, and we got a picture to document our meeting.

With my coworker and his family.

And, not to be mean, but Maggie and I were delighted to get a glimpse of this fashionable young Japanese boy.  Seriously, this boy has fabulous written all over him.  Can you tell which one I am talking about??

That is a boy and yes, his bag is rainbow and his BRIGHT blue jeans are tucked into his brown leather boots!  FABULOUS!!!  I am not really that big of a stalker so I refrained from taking the picture of him smiling, jutting his hip out, and throwing up peace signs while he posed for a picture taken by his mom.

After all of that we headed back to Okayama and made a quick stop at the mall for last minute souvenirs (tea and stuff from the dollar store as well as a quick stop at G.U.- the discount version of UniQlo).  We were going to try and make it back for Karaoke in Yubara, but Maggie and Dad still had to pack and they had to be up EARLY the next day to catch a train to Narita, so sadly our last night was kind of boring.  We visited Motoaki's family and then just went back to our house.

The next morning we went to the Okayama train station, and after getting tickets and a quick McDonald's breakfast (we didn't have time for anything else) they were off and the trip was over.  I might have been sad but a) they are coming again in June and then I am going home in August for my brother's wedding, and b) I get to go to Vietnam in two days!!!  I think Finn will miss them the most as he got a lot of attention and snacks from them.

Motoaki's sister, mother, father, my father, Motoaki, Maggie, and Finn

The In-Laws

I live about 15 minutes by car from the in-laws.  I get along with them pretty well (as well as we can with the language difference) and yet I hardly ever see them.  This is because my husband works with his father, mother, and sister almost every day.  His father started the company he works (an NPO that works with special needs adults including two centers where they can come everyday) for and, though he is retired, he has a lot of say in what goes on.  His mother retired as a care taker and now helps at the center doing a lot of odd jobs. And his sister, a nurse, comes to help with the people who have special physical needs.  Thus he doesn't feel the need to go over to their house after work or to invite them around to ours.  And I feel a bit weird just going to see them by myself.

But, seeing as we have been living in a new house since last September, I decided to invite them around for dinner last Sunday night.  It was his sister's birthday so I thought it would be something to do.  I say this with all due respect, but she doesn't have a lot of friends.  Or she does, but she doesn't get to see them often due to the fact that they are at that age where they are married with kids.  The other friends are all nurses so their hours are long/random.

At first I said I would make chili as it is something that is easy, delicious, and foreign (if it's their first time to try it, they can't compare it to anything else).  Motoaki said that just chili wouldn't be enough (even after I said that of course we would have bread and salad as well) so it was decided that I would make baked chicken with asparagus and yuzu dressing (a yuzu is like a lemon and I started using it when I wanted to try and make lemon chicken).  And, for good measure, he decided we had better heat up one of the pizzas we had gotten from Costco.  If you know Motoaki like I do, you would agree that he was probably just worried that HE wouldn't get enough to eat.

The day of the dinner I woke up late (after being out at trivia and drinking WAY too much beer) but wasn't pressured.  They wouldn't arrive until five and Motoaki didn't have work that day.  Our house is never messy, but it would need dusting, vacuuming, and a bit of sorting out in the living room.  We had time, but I wanted to get it done and then relaxed so I started urging Motoaki to help clean up at least he stuff.  He argued that it was Sunday and that we had plenty of time so he wanted to read the paper and eat first.  Fair enough, I thought and decided to take a bath and read a book.

He popped his head in to say he needed to go to another town but would gone for just an hour.

Why do men do this?  I have extremely clear memories of my father doing this exact thing.  Waiting until the day of whatever housework needs to be done and then remembering some errand that needed to be done.

I wasn't worried though- it was only 11am and an hour wouldn't be the end of the world.  I went about the day getting stuff ready and clean but not rushing because I knew Motoaki would be back to help out.

1pm came, then 2pm.  At 3pm I was a little miffed but nothing major.  But at 4 pm when Motoaki called to say not only was he still in the other town but that he would be late to dinner, I got angry.  I didn't yell at him but it made me mad that he said "an hour"  and it turned into a day.  Fair enough, if the tables were turned I wouldn't be too worried about my dad and sister coming over for a meal (well, if they lived in the same town).  But for me I was of course super nervous about Motoaki's family seeing the house for the first time, eating my food for the first time, seeing how well Finn behaves, etc.  They aren't the judging type (well, they never say anything to my face- and they always get me nice things and complement me), but still I want to impress them.

But, rock star that I am I got everything cleaned/ready and Motoaki beat his parents home by about 10 minutes.  Dinner went ok.  I hadn't taste tested the chili before serving (rookie mistake) and it didn't have nearly enough spice to it.  It tasted like oily water.  But they loved the other food and Motoaki had gotten cake for dessert.

His father was unusually quiet and insisted on going home right after we had finished cake, but he is like that everywhere he goes.  I think, too, he was bored as we spent a lot of time talking about Motoaki's mom and sister's recent trip to Paris.  He hadn't been invited (he never is- they don't really get along).  And I think he wasn't interested in what we had on the TV.  But he complemented us on our choice of couch (we have a big one from Ikea that is extremely comfy) and ate quite a bit.

Finn was the real surprise as he turned on the charm.  He is an ok little dog but he is STILL a puppy and can be quite annoying, especially when guests arrive.  He'll nip at their clothing and jump around like a mad man.  And he has taken to "exposing himself" to certain people that come over.  But for Motoaki's family he was quite calm.  Of course, part of it was due to the fact that they have 3 cats and no doubt smell strongly of them.  He was too busy sniffing to really be too crazy..  They even said that if their older cats passed away they would think about getting a little dog for the house.   The only dog they've had has been a big one that stayed in the yard. Of course the minute they left he took his cue to jump on top of the coffee table, run off with Motoaki's slipper, and start chewing on the living room curtain.

I'm lucky that Motoaki's family is not phased at all that I am a foreigner and that they seem generally to like me.  Like I always say, though, I think the relationship will change if/when any grandchildren show up on the scene, seeing as the west and east have different ways of child rearing...

Osaka Part Three: The BBQ

(June 21st)
So I have met Motoaki's cousins before (read about the time we had a semi-family reunion) and really get on with them.  They are around my age, are patient with my Japanese, and are extremely energetic and bubbly.  I am talking about his two girl cousins Nobuka and Rie.  Their parents are also great and make me feel at home despite being white and having the Japanese vocabulary of a 3 old (if even!).

But even so I was extremely nervous to go to their house on Saturday.  They had invited me to their BBQ awhile back and I had been extremely keen to go.  Of course, that was when I thought a billion people were going to be with me in Osaka.  Even when the group dwindled to four I was still excited.  When it dwindled to two (Matt and me) I was a little nervous but figured it was ok.  But when I realized at lunch that Matt hadn't seen his friend in a long time and would likely want to hang out with her, I got very nervous.

This might come as a big shock to a lot of people (even those who know me extremely well) but I am quite shy.  Mist people think that I am the farthest thing from shy, but in reality I only have a strong sense of comfort with myself.  Hmmm.... How to explain?  I am loud at parties not because I don't care what people think, but because I have a naturally loud voice.  I don't mind performing in public not because I am fearless, but because I love to sing and dance.  I will admit to not being shy with people I am destined to not meet again, and I am as equally not shy around kids because kids don't care.  But when it comes to going by myself somewhere where there will be people who I will meet again, I get shy.  ESPECIALLY when I don't speak the language.

BUT I had said that I would go to the BBQ and that is what I did.  And wouldn't you know I was fine.  A lot of that is due to, again, Motoaki's cousins being fantastic.  I made my way to the outskirts of Osaka and got off in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere (not a convenience store in sight to buy snacks or drinks for the party- luckily I did find a hole in the wall liquor shop so I could at least offer beer to my hosts).  This is rare as I was still near Osaka and this is Japan.

I called Motoaki's cousin Nobuka and she came over to get me by bike which then meant that she had to walk back on her bike.  I felt really bad but she didn't mind.  She asked right away, "Where are your friends?" and I was a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't have any...that had wanted to come.  But when I explained that they were all visiting other friends she understood.  We got to her house and, due to cloudy skies and a slight mist, went into the garage to BBQ.  When I say garage it is an understatement as Japan is short on space and houses are small.  The garage could maybe fit one car and that is only if was a VW Beetle or a Mini-Cooper.  But it was big enough for a grill, a small table, and about 20 Japanese people.

Nobuka's family was welcoming as always although they also wondered about the friends. 
As for the rest of the people at the BBQ, I was introduced to what basically amounted to a mini reunion for Nobuka's college friends.  A lot of women and one token guy who had brought his wife.  Two of the women also had their daughters with them, aging from 2-6.  I was surprised as sometimes little kids can be weary around me, but the girls approached me right away to ask if I could help protect them from the big dog.  As in the 8 month old yellow lab who was napping in the corner (apparently they had just been on a run and he had scared the girls with his playful energy).  I agreed to and we became fast friends.  In their rapid Japanese and wandering conversation, they barely realized that I wasn't a native speaker.  Again why I am not shy around kids.

Everyone took to me right away and no one made a big deal about me being foreign.  One of the women had studied English at University so she was quite good and her 2 year old could say some as well.  And the other girls were asked to speak the English that they had learned at preschool-kindergarten.  But for the most part conversation went on as normal ranging from just about anything.  At one point there was an inquiry into how the guy had proposed to his wife (I guess they just got married this past spring- beautiful photos as they had a traditional wedding in Kyoto, a traditional city) and the same question was posed to me (as another "newly-wed").  It felt good to be experiencing life as a Japanese would.  Even though I live here, it can be hard to be "normal" and to experience "normal" life.  Even people whom I have known for years will make a big deal about me being an outsider.

The food was great and I hid the fact that I had already eaten lunch well (so long diet).  It helps that a usual Japanese BBQ doesn't include hamburgers, chops, and steak but rather tiny strips of beef and vegetables like onions, green peppers, and pumpkin.  There were hot dogs, but little ones- almost like what we would call a smokie back home.  Funny those words in my English vocab that go unused.

As it always is with crazy Japanese weather, the sun came out and we were able to go to the little park (about the size of a normal American yard) across the street.  The little girls showed off dance routines and songs they had learned from school and we cheered them on as if it were a real concert.

I felt bad because it seemed like the party was going to go on all night and yet I needed to get going.  When someone made a suggestion of taking a group walk towards the station, I took that as my cue to head out.  Things had gone well but my Japanese ability was spent and I didn't want to be a burden.

One quick note on a cultural difference, Motoaki's uncle gave me a small envelope containing $50.  I thought it had something to do with my wedding or my mom's death (in Japan you give money on these occasions) but when I got home the next day Motoaki said that it was to pay for my traveling expenses.  I had seen this done before for big things (like when we went to the memorial service for the grandma or for when we went to a different friend's wedding), but I was shocked that I got it for going to a BBQ.  I was the one who should pay them.  I definitely have to get them some nice omiyage (souvenirs) next time I am stateside.

Anyway, I am glad that I was able to do that.  It kind of breaks the ice for the future when I might want to take my kids to visit or attend family functions even though Motoaki can't.