(June 21st)
So I have met Motoaki's cousins before (read about the time we had a semi-family reunion) and really get on with them. They are around my age, are patient with my Japanese, and are extremely energetic and bubbly. I am talking about his two girl cousins Nobuka and Rie. Their parents are also great and make me feel at home despite being white and having the Japanese vocabulary of a 3 old (if even!).
But even so I was extremely nervous to go to their house on Saturday. They had invited me to their BBQ awhile back and I had been extremely keen to go. Of course, that was when I thought a billion people were going to be with me in Osaka. Even when the group dwindled to four I was still excited. When it dwindled to two (Matt and me) I was a little nervous but figured it was ok. But when I realized at lunch that Matt hadn't seen his friend in a long time and would likely want to hang out with her, I got very nervous.
This might come as a big shock to a lot of people (even those who know me extremely well) but I am quite shy. Mist people think that I am the farthest thing from shy, but in reality I only have a strong sense of comfort with myself. Hmmm.... How to explain? I am loud at parties not because I don't care what people think, but because I have a naturally loud voice. I don't mind performing in public not because I am fearless, but because I love to sing and dance. I will admit to not being shy with people I am destined to not meet again, and I am as equally not shy around kids because kids don't care. But when it comes to going by myself somewhere where there will be people who I will meet again, I get shy. ESPECIALLY when I don't speak the language.
BUT I had said that I would go to the BBQ and that is what I did. And wouldn't you know I was fine. A lot of that is due to, again, Motoaki's cousins being fantastic. I made my way to the outskirts of Osaka and got off in what appeared to be the middle of nowhere (not a convenience store in sight to buy snacks or drinks for the party- luckily I did find a hole in the wall liquor shop so I could at least offer beer to my hosts). This is rare as I was still near Osaka and this is Japan.
I called Motoaki's cousin Nobuka and she came over to get me by bike which then meant that she had to walk back on her bike. I felt really bad but she didn't mind. She asked right away, "Where are your friends?" and I was a little embarrassed to admit that I didn't have any...that had wanted to come. But when I explained that they were all visiting other friends she understood. We got to her house and, due to cloudy skies and a slight mist, went into the garage to BBQ. When I say garage it is an understatement as Japan is short on space and houses are small. The garage could maybe fit one car and that is only if was a VW Beetle or a Mini-Cooper. But it was big enough for a grill, a small table, and about 20 Japanese people.
Nobuka's family was welcoming as always although they also wondered about the friends.
As for the rest of the people at the BBQ, I was introduced to what basically amounted to a mini reunion for Nobuka's college friends. A lot of women and one token guy who had brought his wife. Two of the women also had their daughters with them, aging from 2-6. I was surprised as sometimes little kids can be weary around me, but the girls approached me right away to ask if I could help protect them from the big dog. As in the 8 month old yellow lab who was napping in the corner (apparently they had just been on a run and he had scared the girls with his playful energy). I agreed to and we became fast friends. In their rapid Japanese and wandering conversation, they barely realized that I wasn't a native speaker. Again why I am not shy around kids.
Everyone took to me right away and no one made a big deal about me being foreign. One of the women had studied English at University so she was quite good and her 2 year old could say some as well. And the other girls were asked to speak the English that they had learned at preschool-kindergarten. But for the most part conversation went on as normal ranging from just about anything. At one point there was an inquiry into how the guy had proposed to his wife (I guess they just got married this past spring- beautiful photos as they had a traditional wedding in Kyoto, a traditional city) and the same question was posed to me (as another "newly-wed"). It felt good to be experiencing life as a Japanese would. Even though I live here, it can be hard to be "normal" and to experience "normal" life. Even people whom I have known for years will make a big deal about me being an outsider.
The food was great and I hid the fact that I had already eaten lunch well (so long diet). It helps that a usual Japanese BBQ doesn't include hamburgers, chops, and steak but rather tiny strips of beef and vegetables like onions, green peppers, and pumpkin. There were hot dogs, but little ones- almost like what we would call a smokie back home. Funny those words in my English vocab that go unused.
As it always is with crazy Japanese weather, the sun came out and we were able to go to the little park (about the size of a normal American yard) across the street. The little girls showed off dance routines and songs they had learned from school and we cheered them on as if it were a real concert.
I felt bad because it seemed like the party was going to go on all night and yet I needed to get going. When someone made a suggestion of taking a group walk towards the station, I took that as my cue to head out. Things had gone well but my Japanese ability was spent and I didn't want to be a burden.
One quick note on a cultural difference, Motoaki's uncle gave me a small envelope containing $50. I thought it had something to do with my wedding or my mom's death (in Japan you give money on these occasions) but when I got home the next day Motoaki said that it was to pay for my traveling expenses. I had seen this done before for big things (like when we went to the memorial service for the grandma or for when we went to a different friend's wedding), but I was shocked that I got it for going to a BBQ. I was the one who should pay them. I definitely have to get them some nice omiyage (souvenirs) next time I am stateside.
Anyway, I am glad that I was able to do that. It kind of breaks the ice for the future when I might want to take my kids to visit or attend family functions even though Motoaki can't.
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